I tried, I tried so hard to have even an iota of knowledge as to how this album could arouse any acclaim. Somehow it slipped through the critical grasp of many, and ended up getting decent feedback. Feedback that stole from me a precious twelve dollars that I will never get back. Twelve dollars that could have been wasted on something worthy or perhaps even euphoric! However, time and time again shitty Black Metal bands are reminding me that there are individuals out there who will actually pay money for feces. And not even the cool feces that you see at country/hick carnivals that look like celebrities.

Let’s piece together what the album “Diabolical” by Naglfar has put together for us:

1. Diabolical vocals that sound like a poser Danny Filth taking a shower in prison.

2. Diabolical guitar riffs that are so sloppy it sounds like the guitarist was being sucked off by Frankie Muniz during the recording sessions.

3. Diabolical Percussion that had the potential to be cool, but their producer was too much of a twat to render the Double-kick coherently audible.

4. Diabolical Bass that is not only never heard independently, but boarder line omnipresent as their Bassist must have been just standing there doing nothing, shaking his head.


That’s all, with the infinitesimal exception of their sampling element that may be well mastered, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Now, with all the Black Metal bashing I did within the last forty seconds that I did, let me continue by saying to all of those who have a Naglfar album; don’t feel too bad, they aren’t Black Metal at it’s worse. If you want to hear them at their worst, you listen to their first album. You read correctly, they are improving; but there isn’t too much that old feces has the ability to evolve into (besides the birth place of maggots). But at the very least, maggots have brains!

Naglfar possess one of those dime a dozen styles whereas they repeat the same riffs (badly produced) constantly. These riffs are slow, uninteresting, and coupled with a Double-kick element most of the time, however, they are screwed out of affect due to the production value. The sampled intros to their songs aren’t even Black Metal influenced, nor are they musical in any way. Inversely, when they do attempt to be melodic, they aren’t even original. There is a short intermission within Diabolical that is just a piano solo entitled “A departure in Solitude” that is a rip-off of a rondo written more than a hundred years ago. I don’t even need to tell you what the rondo is called because there is a 98.9% chance that you will identify it immediately!

Furthermore, one could argue that what they lack in talent, they make up for in being grim and fucking frostbitten, but how could that be when none of them even wear Corpse Paint. They just stand around looking as though they had just been punked and didn’t quite get what was happening yet. But mostly I try not to look at image, especially when their Drummer looks like Christian Bale as a heroine addict. One other particular fact that bothers me about this band, unlike “troo” Black Metal bands, they actually think that they have promising and a bright future. Troo Black metal bands aren’t taken seriously, and if Naglfar hasn’t figured that out; they are only going to suck worse in the future


Summary: Not Grim, Not Frostbitten = Not Talented. A diabolically bad CD!