Transformers: The Movie (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)

How delightful that this technically gets a spot on the Archives, thanks to being a split with Lion and N.R.G. Just seeing Ultra Magnus and the rest of the crew in the Archives format is immediate joy. I am a gigantic Transformers fan, but I won't deny that this album is completely ridiculous. It's a painfully 80's collection of various genres and musicians, and it's delightful. "The Touch" is a timeless you-can-do-it anthem propelled by Stan Bush's pretty good vocals and nice guitar licks. He also delivers the kinda awesome "Dare" which starts off soft, and then explodes with passion and images of Hot Rod racing to Autobot City with Daniel. Even though both of these songs have choruses that could fit in an old Pepsi ad, they're still tons of fun to sing along with.

Regarding the actual metal on here, N.R.G delivers "Instruments of Destruction" a dirty, snarly heavy metal attack with a good chorus, delivered in a serviceable Hetfield impression and polished off with a slick solo that would perfectly acceptable on an Ozzy or Dio record. The final chorus being delivered in psuedo-Halford style is pretty awesome, with the outro still giving me chills. Lion's rendition of The Transformers' features a pretty killer main riff and is overall... kinda awesome? The vocals have great melodies, good lyrics and have a nice Dio tone to them. The solo! My, is this a good one. It's short, but it packs a punch and intensifies the song so it can deliver the chilling final verse at full force. I really like how the change up the melody and do a classic hold-note-for-effect move. The band clearly gave the laughable task of adapting a cartoon theme song 110% and came out with a pretty solid metal tune. Spectre General covers both Quintessa tunes, "Nothin's Gonna Stand In Our Way" and "Hunger" which are both simple and catchy with inspired guitar work. The nice little guitar licks in the pre-chorus add a somewhat wistful and nostalgic dimension to the track. Again, great solos for both.

For the totally alien bits, we have Vince DiCola's synth-coated creations, and "Dare To Be Stupid" from Weird Al Yankovic himself. DiCola's contributions serve as background music for the film, and are surprisingly dynamic. "Death of Optimus Prime" captures every moment of the scene flawlessly, so you can cry your eyes out with no need to watch the film. The other tunes are similarly morphing and moving, with some truly wicked basslines to be found throughout. "Dare To Be Stupid" is Weird Al's Devo impression, and what a tune it is! I love Neurosis and Bathory, but sometimes some goofy new wave is just what the doctor ordered. He uses two different voices for this song that keep it from getting too monotonous as he spits out utter nonsense.

Overall, this record stands as a surprisingly inspired and passionate soundtrack to a movie based on a 22 minute toy commercial for transforming robot toys. They could have done screw-all for the music and the kids probably wouldn't have cared, but everyone went all-out and delivered tunes that make smashing your Galvatron and Rodimus Prime figures together as cool as it is in your head. A recommend to fans of the 80's sound, people looking for some B- heavy metal, and any Transformers fan that forgot to listen to it today.

'Til all are one!