Yeah in all honesty, this review is probably the closest to a review equivalent of "selling out" you'll ever see outside of me taking a paid gig to shill for awful emodjent. I'm frankly just exhausted with Wintersun at this point. I didn't go into the shit about the crowdfunding because I just can't be fucked to type it all out again, and the review had a defeated tone because, well, I'm more or less defeated at this point. It's hard to summon up the appropriate amount of bile when the album is as much of a pointless bunny fart as The Forest Seasons is. I just don't fucking care anymore and clearly neither does Jari.

Of course some dickhead just went and gave it 95% and used the old "Well don't get over expecting shit if you want to be disappointed" argument so fuck people.

In the eternal winter of Russia, beyond the darkest caves where sunlight never spreads, there sleeps a man. A whisper reaches the wind, and the wind carries the whisper across all manner of frozen terrain. The whisper reaches the man's ear. His eyes shoot open into perfect spheres and he shoots upright, breaking his intermittent slumber. He sniffs the air as his eyes narrow. "Somebody is speaking ill of Wintersun..." he growls under his breath. "MADNESS!" he shouts as he flings the blankets off of his legs and sprints to the computer to retaliate in the most obviously phony "calm, rational person" voice he can for the forty fifth time.

you just dont get john sunlight

Honestly, the newer review by Khat57 above mine is about ten times better. Not only does he actually touch on the crowdfunding aspect (which, in this case, is absolutely worth talking about since it was such a huge factor in the album's conception), but he does a much better job of really illustrating just how little actually happens and how the songs never really progress from one idea to another. They don't even evoke the feelings of the seasons they're supposed to represent, and that's such an obvious thing that should be mocked (considering it's the entire concept behind the album) that I genuinely can't believe I didn't even notice it.

...but the idea of The Forest Seasons came off as "just an album" to use as a product for a hefty crowdfunding campaign so the band can create their own elaborate studio and fully realize the ideas they want to use for Time II, like their heart wasn't really there for this one because they couldn't add 30 layers of keyboard koto samples with the studio they have now.

I don't think anyone does.

You're literally the only person on this website who didn't know Wintersun were putting out a new album.

Great, now I want pizza. Thanks a lot, Jophelerx.

If it's any consolation the overall response I have garnered from the internet has been less than warm.

why give a shit when somebody cries

Oh come on. Real men aren't supposed to be able to experience the whole emotional spectrum. Obviously.

Have a cry dudes. hahahaha

Honestly, I think most people here know I'm not some alpha male or whatever. But I do find it fairly amusing as yeah, youtube is full of people apparently crying to shit all the time. I'd bet you can bring up any song in a minor key and there'd be 200 people on the youtube comments saying they bawl their eyes out every time it's on. If that doesn't strike you as a bit lame, u're part of the problem

Crying to evocative music is fine...but not when it's Wintersun.

As a man it is acceptable to cry in the middle of war, if you get hit in the nuts REALLY HARD or if an immediate family member dies. The end.

why give a shit when somebody cries

Bayern's Crowbar review is pretty ridiculous. He claims that Crowbar aren't sludge (pretty much as objectively false as you can get) and then describes them as having strong similarities to Candlemass and Solitude Aeturnus. He later describes them as having a hardcore influence . . . apparently completely unaware that sludge is literally doom + hardcore. Talk about having no idea what you're talking about.

music-wise they’re by-and-large a doom metal act, occupying the golden middle between the traditional doom metal reverberations of Saint Vitus and Pentagram, and the more officiant epic landscapes of Candlemass and Solitude Aeturnus.

I have had a review pending for 13 days now. Any chance of an update?

Bayern's Crowbar review is pretty ridiculous. He claims that Crowbar aren't sludge (pretty much as objectively false as you can get) and then describes them as having strong similarities to Candlemass and Solitude Aeturnus. He later describes them as having a hardcore influence . . . apparently completely unaware that sludge is literally doom + hardcore. Talk about having no idea what you're talking about.