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gasmask_colostomy's profile

Metal sage 
Email address:
Full name:
Edmund Morton 
Favourite metal genre(s):
Slow, fast, or epic 

I'm from England but I've lived in China since the end of 2014. Talk to me about Chinese stuff, I like that. However, my ability to access websites and platforms like YouTube, Bandcamp, Spotify, etc. is often compromised.

As of December 2022, I am a "Metal Sage" and review queue mod. Bear in mind that I'm sexually attracted to people who use the Oxford comma, but even that won't save you from rejection if you talk nonsense for the rest of the review. Write for your readers.

I write for Metalegion magazine ( and The Metal Observer ( My reviews from those publications are also on this website, but interviews and other articles are only available direct from those sources. I am also the text editor of Metalegion.

I have written lyrics for several bands, listed chronologically below, as well as some unpublished ones:
Agos (Aonian Invocation)
Pentagrammaton (Pentagrammaton)
Archaize (Dusk Kills Dawn & In Dusk We Trust)
Virus Of Koch (unreleased album, mostly recorded)
The Oriental Sun (The Majestic Phoenix Arises from Centuries of Hibernation)

Some random info for fun:

First album: Ash (Meltdown)
First "real" metal album: Iron Maiden (Dance of Death)
First favourite band: Korn
Later favourite bands (chronologically): hazy period, The Haunted, Witchery, My Dying Bride, Candlemass, Katatonia, Wolf, Stratovarius, Paradise Lost, Helloween, now I really don't know
First "real" metal concert: Marduk/Anaal Nathrakh
Most recent metal concert: Holyarrow/Rupture/Airylion
Gateway band: Devildriver maybe
Heartbreak band: Sentenced (also my Christmas band)
Band that makes me write poetry: most doom and prog
Hard work/gym bands: The Haunted, Wolf, Gamma Ray, Disturbed

I enjoy writing reviews. All reviews are written using my own personal opinions and my own personal free time. Below is a jokey breakdown of how I score them.

If you are unsure about the scores given to my reviews, they reflect my feelings about the musical quality, artistic creativity, and (occasionally) personal resonance of the album in question. My older reviews have more generous scores, though this is due to my perception of the above criteria altering as I listened to more music. I won't change many of the scores because they still represent the view of a metal fan and are just as "true" as my more recent ones. Those hoping to understand my thought process can refer to these guidelines:

Makes me question my own sanity. Makes me lament my patient efforts to listen to the music.

Makes me question the sanity of the musicians. Makes me lament the artist’s lack of skill.

Makes me question the need to release this. Makes me lament the total lack of interesting features.

Makes me question the reasoning of the record label for supporting this. If independently released, makes me lament the artist’s inability to judge quality.

Makes me question many of the artistic decisions involved. Makes me lament for what could have been.

Makes me lament the inconsistency or monotony of the style. Makes me praise the diverting ideas or decent musicality of the artist.

Makes me lament a lack of creativity or dissatisfying musical presence. Makes me praise the solid nature of many of the songs.

Makes me lament the unrefined features of the experience. Makes me praise the clear skill or creativity involved.

Makes me excited and tempted to a) clench my fist, b) tap my foot, or, c) shake my head. Makes me praise the great musicianship and give the attention the songs demand.

Makes me remain in thrall to most of the music and obliged to participate. Makes me praise the undeniably outstanding ideas and execution.

Makes me faint and breathless with excitement. Makes me question my own sanity.