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Left Hand Ov Dog's profile

Email address:
Full name:
Jack Cassidy 
United States 
Favourite metal genre(s):
Anything, if it's done well 

I haven't reviewed anything in quite some time (going on a decade, holy shit), but if you've come to this page hoping for more, I invite you to follow this playlist, a sampler of all the great metal we know, constructed by myself and collaborated upon by a few close, metal-minded friends.

Editor's note: I did not add Trivium. That was this guy Brian. Blame him.

You're still welcome to email me promo materials, but know that the chances of them getting covered are hilariously slim. You'd really have to blow my mind to get me out of retirement. But hey. Ya never know.

Peace love and hand grenades, and all that jazz.

-Left Hand of Dog
[email protected]


100- A timeless classic, with eternal replay value. Absolutely essential.

95- Incredible, highly memorable music, hovering just below perfection.

90- A fantastic album, an exemplary monument to the chosen style.

85- Flirting with greatness, essential for fans of the genre.

80- Unflinchingly solid, an all-around compelling and memorable release.

75- Pretty strong. Nothing mind-blowing, but a worthy catch for genre or artist enthusiasts.

70- Above average. Worth a look, but try before you buy.

65- Good ideas and acceptable execution, but not very satisfying or memorable.

60- Meh... s'alright. Contains some intriguing elements. Proceed with caution.

55- Enter the bargain bin. Underlying potential treading water.

50- Nothing to love or loathe. The color grey in musical form.

40- Skirting the border of crap, with very little worth salvaging. Digging through shit for scraps of gold.

30- The musical equivalent of snorkeling in sewage.

20- Actively offensive to the senses. The musical equivalent of snorkeling in sewage beneath a chili convention.

10- Laughably, irrefutably terrible. A bold and terrifyingly large excrement on the lawn of good taste.

0- An embarrassment to humanity. An affront to the concepts of quality and integrity. Worthy of active, unfettered loathing. See: Winds of Plague.