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Chernobog's profile

United States 
Favourite metal genre(s):

I've been listening to metal in some form or fashion since the age of 11, when I heard Black Sabbath for the first time and was almost instantly blown away. Being a child of the internet age, I mostly relied on Youtube and Spotify (as well as internet radio) to seek out metal artists. Now that I can actually make an income of some sort, I'm looking to build up my CD collection (including vinyl LPs and old tapes where I can find them) before physical albums become completely a thing of the past, to only be purchased by pseudo-bohemian hipsters.

As far as musical preferences go, I tend to prefer classic "denim and leather" heavy metal from the 70s to the early 90s, black metal, doom, thrash, power and some folk, prog, and melo-death. Although not my preferred styles, I have grown friendlier towards both metalcore and deathcore since I began reviewing here, and while I enjoy old-school death metal, a lot of modern death metal (especially tech death) is hit or miss.

Or, to give you a clearer idea of my preferences and what I am listening to right now, my top 10 metal bands (in no particular order) are:

Black Sabbath
Type O Negative
Iron Maiden
Rainbow (really anything Dio touched)

In the case of non-metal acts, I gravitate towards punk, hardcore, classic hip-hop, outlaw country, ambient, classic rock, rockabilly and folk music.

Or, to give another top ten:

Pink Floyd
Sisters of Mercy
Chris Stapleton
Dougie MacLean
Tangerine Dream
Ulver (again. I love their non-metal work)
A Tribe Called Quest

I go into so much detail on my tastes because, as a reviewer, I try to find something good in any album I listen to. Even if I personally don't like the album, I know that there may be someone who sees something in the artist's sound that I don't. My goal as a reviewer is simply to comment on the music I either enjoyed or hated, and to give any potential listener my two cents worth, either as a recommendation that they listen to and buy the album, or that they don't spend a dime on it, let alone 40 minutes of their precious time that I had to spend. If you see that I've given a negative review to a piece of work you enjoy or by an artist you enjoy, remember that it is just my opinion, and that chances are their sound didn't have the effect on me that it had on you.

Review guide:

100%-A masterpiece not just of the genre, but of all music. Listening will make you feel like you've heard music for the first time.
95-90%-A nearly flawless album that you will never grow tired of listening to. Masters all the best elements of the genre.
85-80%-A great album that provides exactly what if promises. May not be a masterpiece, but it doesn't need to be either. Can be listened to mostly in its entirety.
75-70%-a decent album that provides some thrills, but contains some less that perfect musical elements. To be bought at a cheap price.
65-60%-Eh. This is an album that isn't entirely bad, but it wont leave much of a positive or negative impact on you, save for a few songs here or there.
55-50%-Not good. Unless you are a fan of the artist or the genre, you would be better off sampling it before buying, and even then, only about half the album or less would be worth it.
45-40%-Bad. Buy the recommended songs off iTunes and leave this alone. If you do ignore my review and choose to listen to this album in it's entirety, you will find yourself pausing it at least once to take a break.
35-30%-Worse. You will also have to take a break while listening, only this time you will come back with a 12 pack of beers and some stress balls.
25-20%-You're going to need something a lot stronger than beer if you hope to survive this poorly written, poorly produced piece of shite.
15-10%-Not even the potentially lethal combination of Tony Montana's coke, Eric Stoltz's Pulp Fiction characters heroin and the White Zombie Peyote from Beavis and Butt-Head will be able to disguise how awful this album is.
5-0%-Rumor has it, prisoners in Abu Ghraib would rather endure all of the torment that they did, so long as they never had to listen to an album of this non-caliber. This is "Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie" level of bad, in which literally nothing is done well or right.