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CHAIRTHROWER's profile

Rank:
Veteran 
Points:
2026 
Email address:
moc/liamg//cbuaeromcire 
Full name:
Eric Moreau 
Gender:
Male 
Age:
39  
Country:
Canada 
Favourite metal genre(s):
Doom & NWOB/THM 
Comments:
 

Am a huge fan of the so called "new wave of traditional heavy metal" as well as "doom" and power metal but am always open to diverging genres - hey, as long it sounds good, I'm all ears (and flailing limbs!).

-- Note: Due to my rabidly obsessive, maniacal nature, my reviews initially come out a little sloppy and ex-tenuously verbose (as well as slightly overrated) - that is, until I duly amend them, which usually takes one to three days tops beyond the initial publishing. In other words, they're best gleaned, if at all, on a slight delay (by then, you'll notice I frantically wrapped 'em up with a bow while trimming all the excessive fat, or rather, fluff).

*Writing Inspirations, alongside fellow Guild (MA reviewers) members:

Roy Peter Clark, William L. Shirer (RIP), W.W. Jacobs (RIP),
Adam Nevill, Markus Zusak, Lynda E. Rucker, Jeff Lemire,
Anthony Bourdain, Mike "McBeardo" McPadden of (ineluctable)
"Heavy Metal Movies" infamy, John Bowen, of "Bowen's Basement",
a downright ticklish/uproarious Rue Morgue rubric, Philip Kerr,
BM Croker, Honore De Balzac - a French, Gilded Age literary boon
companion and master of monarchic middle-age ribaldry, Erik Larson,
Douglas Adams and, fondly enough, cuckoootube's Mid-Western
stoner/doom metal "grass roots purveyor, Stoned Meadow Of Doom!

"Fear not the long sentence."
-Roy Peter Clark, 2006

"They don't give medals on this planet
for courage in urban combat
But there are silver stars shining in the sky
that the astronomers can't explain."
-Anonymous

"And yet even today people ask in surprise:
What is the use of these voyages of [musical]
exploration? What good do they do us?
Little brains, I always answer to myself,
have only room for thoughts of bread and butter."
-Roald Amundsen (bracket content is mine)

"The World is a magical place filled with people
who are waiting to be offended by something."
-Anonymous (& Sagacious)

[anodyne, self-effacing and winking emoji can go here!]

"If you run with wolves, you'll learn to howl."
-Jack Black, 1926

"Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back
into the same box."
-Italian proverb

"Words are loaded pistols,"
-Jean-Paul Sartre (god bless him!)

"Proceed with caution...and if necessary, consult your Bible."
- (a stoic and unflappable) Vladimir Putin, in 2006, on National Russian television,
in response to a reporter's (wry-as-Hell) query about the possible threat
of the Great Chthulu's re-emergence from his Pacific Ocean depths/slumber.

"Speak of the Devil...and He will appear!"
-(author absconded)

"And when I take my baby to a movie show
It's got to be a horror flick or she won't go
I just want to tell you that it's out of sight
When it starts getting scary, she's holding me tight!"
-Indelibly raucous verse from 'We Like to Be Frightened'
by Robert Calvert, and recently wickedly reprised by OH's
shit-kicking Vanik

*Plus, this tasty little morsel of enchanting news came to light today:

“We can’t wait to unleash this masterpiece. It’s going to be the poser crusher of 2019, and you can quote us on that!”...says Amulet, regarding its insanely anticipated, bend rounding and pitchfork wielding sophomore finally due for release this coming Spring.

Oh, and at press time, this jocose ode in regards to yours truly on behalf of the esteemed - and "très sage et érudit" - Cinq_Clous i.e. Five_Nails (isn't Providence, RI, the birthplace/hometown/haunt of H.P. Lovecraft?...hurrr!):

". . . and then there's CHAIRTHROWER XD Zeal of a thousand swords glimmering in the sun, propped up by the slain and buried by no one. Raping a thesaurus and sticking in the head, the words of so many who now are fucking dead." (rampant chair whipping emoj goes here!)