Pentaprotokhaos

Wargoatcult a bestial black metal band hailing from Spain is the brainchild of Cum Mortuis, scratch that, brainchild is not a suitable description unless the brainchild is the product of a long lineage of bestial incestuous relationships. To be honest I have a feeling that this would sit quite well with Mr Cum seeing his propensity and love for the unfetteringly blatant.

Pentaprotokhaos is a bestial black metal album and as such you know the remit; fast drums, lots of blasts, simple but frantic guitar work, inaudible bass and vocals of the less controlled and deeper variety.Personally I'm not a massive fan of the bestial stuff, once in a while though I'll find something that manages to pull it off very well, and I'll embrace their simplicity and lack of finesse.

This is not one of those times, to call this generic would be too polite, this album is so unbelievably by the numbers.

The first thing that struck me aside from the boring artwork and amusing song titles (the best being Plutoniuimperium, I bet he felt like an absolute boss at managing to fit in the word Plutonium with Imperium, I do question however why the fuck he had to put the 'iu' in before the start of imperium, both words end in 'ium' you absolute fucking genius) is the poor quality of the recording, it sounds dreadful, the mix is awful; drums way too high, vocals too low. It is noteworthy that Wargoatcult have released a flurry of demos and splits in the past 2 years with the same fequency of the incontinent elderly. Usually when a band does this it's often a sign of quantity over quality, with little care paid to the substance of their releases (somewhat like the incontinent elderly).

Onto the construction of the album; the guitars, it's bestial so as mentioned before, you expect simplicity but I don't expect to listen for half an hour listening to someone see how many 'evil' riffs they can make with powerchords repeated across every single song, the riffs are forgettable, there are no groovy parts, it's just soulless. The drums on the album are programmed, which is not a problem if it's done well, however there is such little variation or originality in the beats, it's just blast, quick snare fill, blast, half-time blasts ad infinitum, ad nauseum. The sampled sounds don't sound good either, when we live in the time of Anaal Nathrakh and the nigh-on impossible to distinguish between organic and inorganic drum sounds people should be striving to get the best drum sound possible, it is not a difficult thing to achieve with some dedication. The bass, what can I say about the bass? As much as it told me through the recording; sweet fuck-all, is it there, is it not? I don't know and to be honest I don't care, even if the basslines were to be revealed to me I'm sure I would be unimpressed to the point of getting off my lazy ass, finding Mr Cum and bitchslapping him across the face whilst shouting 'NO, just....just no'. And finally the vocals ( I must confess by this point I'm struggling to even find anything to write about this release, the combination of boredom and offense that this album brings is palpable) are boring, unoriginal and lacking any sense of conviction, he also adds some distortion and effects onto his voice to try and improve it but it just doesn't succeed. The album isn't even that fast or frantic for some of the bestial stuff out there like Deiphago for instance, it's just 'meh' made tangible.

To me, this guy seems like someone who wants to be involved in the bestial scene and doesn't really care about what he's producing, there seems to be so little substance that this couldn't even be passed off as Black Witchery or Blasphemy worship because of the complete lack of care that evidently goes into his music, and as I sit on my mighty throne and cast aspersions on people to make myself feel better, trying to mask the utter self-loathing that is only alleviated by my watching of the 'little people', I would have to scream 'fanboy' at Mr Cum as his approach just reeks of wanting to be bestial black metal without putting in the hours needed to establish something of worth for the scene that he so avidly rubs his goathorned phallus over.

So if you like your bestial black metal, stick to Black Witchery, Bestial Raids, Archgoat or even Bestial Warlust, this release is pathetic. Want some blasts and sick bestial stuff? Play your Black Witchery CD again and save yourself the hassle of debasing yourself by experiencing this, it just does nothing new and what ground it re-treads it doesn't do it well, I guess if you like your bestial black metal this will be listenable to you but really I cannot see it being anyone's favourite band, album, song ever.

Personally, it left me colder than a dead nuns hairy axe-wound, the only saving grace is that it's only 33 minutes long and I didn't have to waste more time listening to it.

(Originally written for baileysmmcreamy.blogspot.com)

Before evaluating a new record, I like to learn about his author. Some biographical and geographical elements are indeed revealing about the nature of what my headphones will soon throw to my ears. This step of my work can be seen as a protection against avoidable mediocrity aggression. But I sometimes lack of vigilance. In a rare act of faith (or a moment of distraction, I do not know) I choose to listen to the latest release of the Spanish band Wargoatcult, without previously get some info about it. Rookie mistake. This one-man band has indeed all the features that I normally seek to avoid. Founded just five years ago, it already has five demos, seven splits, a compilation and two albums! This kind of diarrheic production occurs often at the expense of quality. This phenomenon is confirmed again with Pentaprotokhaos (2012).

Title track offered at the outset sets the tone. This is an extremely linear music with a flat recording, bordering bestial black metal, a sub-genre I especially abhor. But it is the drumming sound that annoys immediately anyone who dares to listen. Damn! Does Necrotomb (single member) drum on skin or on empty pots? I did not know that this incessant TAC-TAC-TAC could be produced by a real drum. Even computer programming works best. It goes on like this for an incredibly long thirty minutes. All nine songs on the album sound alike, without raising anything other than boredom or irritation. I can’t stand more than three listening, even though I usually listen at least ten times each record I wish to review. My sanity worth more to me than this album.

Once again, a black metal album causes my misunderstanding. Not because of its complexity, but rather to his poverty. Pentaprotokhaos contains virtually no interesting riff; drums sound like an iron cow bell and the voice is muffled and turned into an inaudible grunt. Thirty-three minutes lost, again. Next time, I’d be more careful in selecting my reviewed albums, I promise. 3/10

Originally written for metalobscur.com