Au gouffre

Ah, France's most "edgy" troublemaker, none other than Mr. Famine of Peste Noire fame, has been at it again. What we have here is a collaborative effort of the aforementioned Famine, Ardraos (who drums quite brilliantly in Sühnopfer and Peste Noire, among others) as well as a "who's who" of France's contemporary and past NSBM "scene". Yes, even Xaphan from Finis Gloria Dei as well as the now defunct Seigneur Voland and Kristallnacht, among others, took a break from fellating sculptures of Reinhard Heydrich to drop a few vocal lines on this release. Hooligan bro's rejoice! You finally have a new soundtrack to bust out at your local gyms! Get in shape quick and make sure to update your Instagram feeds with pics of your "gains" and super elite tats of Reichsadlers and other "controversial" symbols displaying your "racial" pride. Seriously nothing is more "kvlt", "evil" and "elite" than a perfectly timed post of your newest M8l8kh (THE O'S ARE WRITTEN AS 8s BECAUSE HITLER IS STILL EDGY DUDE, CONTROVERSY!!! RAAAWWRR!!!) tanktop. Throw in a token picture of you and your bro's posing with automatic assault rifles (seriously who/what are you hunting? I mean there are no jews in that field and that knife seems just a wee bit redundant considering the rest of your arsenal, but effectiveness was never M8l8kh's forte, or you know, they would have written an effective or even decent riff over their 14 year career. Alas, shoddy RAC posing as "kvlt" "elitism" never quite aroused my curiousity quite as much as a decent riff would have, but I suppose I'm doomed to remain flaccid as far as M8l8kh is concerned. To their credit, they came up with one of the greatest, most laugh-out-loud brilliantly ridiculous song titles of all time: "L.A.H. (Luciferian Aesthetics of Herrschaft)". I mean just wow.

All this brings us to Famine's most recent creation, VOUÏVRE, who have here an EP containing what appear to be four songs based on Famine and some other hooligan bro's (hooligan bro 1) time spent together in Paris. Apparently, they took a break from commiserating about the evils posed to "la grande nation" by muslims and gays in order to record a couple of tunes, with Famine on - what he calls, at least - "clean singing" duties, while hooligan bro 1 and a bunch of other hooligan bro's (2-4... I think?) handle "harsh" singing. Regrettably, nothing contained on this EP can be described as anything remotely approximating harsh. What we have here is a jumbled collection of 3.5 recycled, newer Peste Noire throwaway riffs on side A, consisting of two tracks, along with some completely unlistenable electronic techno mumbo jumbo that brought back favorable memories of Scooter on side B. This is not noise/power electronics in the vein of Antichrist Kramer's Intolitarian, rather it appears to be some form of low-budget electro/techno, with completely laughable spoken word parts supplied by hooligan bro 3. Apparently, these songs were created over a period of time to reflect the inner experiences of these hooligan bro's as they spent a sojourn together, doubtlessly exchanging suggestive glances over whispers of their favorite Mein Kampf passages.

Look, I lived in Paris for a while, and while I can say that the experience wasn't always pleasant, it was never THIS bad. Seriously, I have to assume these guys got roofied by one of their hooligan bro's after their local Front National rally. In any case, I believe what happened here is that Famine, lost in excitement that he gets to play huge super sick RAC shows in Kiev on the regular nowadays, thinks he can release whatever trash he wants to the masses of disaffected 17-year old boys and girls in eastern Europe, who will eat it all up. I have no doubt in my mind that it's working, as evidenced by the hooligan bro's boldness in releasing such an utter waste of plastic unto the masses. KPN is as popular as ever nowadays, even going so far as to make a vinyl re-issue of their creative pinnacle, "Ballade cuntre lo Anemi francor", albeit with really "controversial" and "edgy" new fascist-y looking artwork. Yay.

Regarding more specifics on the actual sounds presented here, on side A we have what is basically a Peste Noire demo with a guest vocalist, including all the elements fans of that band have come to enjoy, such as twangy, folksy and melodic guitar lines, lazily recorded "kvlt" drums and raspy vocals. However, just as you're about to fall asleep to the redundant, thoughtlessly plodding riffage, Famine decides to drop some hilariously shoddy clean vocals on the unsuspecting listener, which would be funny if he weren't so sincere. And sincere he is; he even took the time to copy and paste a segment of his ultra hardcore, super politically incorrect and therefore totally cool interview with Militant-Zone.com to the description of the YouTube upload of this release.

Side B, which peaked my curiosity (read: morbid curiosity, like when you drive by a deadly accident and can't stop staring at the wreckage) much more based on Famine's description of its contents, left me completely speechless. Now, while I can't be 100% certain, I'd be more than willing to bet my REALLY GOOD QUALITY MADE IN FRANCE Peste Noire hoodie, for which you are required to pay a staggering €50 plus shipping, because, you know, superior French quality and the battle to defeat ZOG and all that (the print on which has, as an aside, completely faded due to the inferior printing techniques Famine used but hey, at least it wasn't made in Vietnam for cheap, right?), that hooligan bro 3 actually sampled a fucking Christmas jingle in his local Monoprix and threw a super heavy and elite skinhead techno kick-drum beat under it in Garage Band for side B. No seriously, this must be heard to be believed. The icing (white, cuz white is better u know) on the cake is, as previously mentioned, the various spoken word passages sprinkled throughout side B. Just baffling.

While I can appreciate an artist teaming up with another artist for a new creative endeavor, the cynical nature of this release and all hooligan bro-esque, Militant-Zone-affiliated releases is not only pathetic, but above all completely despicable from an artistic standpoint. While I do harbor enough intelligence to enjoy music artistically with political content I may not agree with, this is objectively garbage. Not specifically from a political point of view, as the ideas promoted by Militant-Zone et al. are so hilariously outdated, underdeveloped and plainly moronic, all I can do while browsing their super elitist internet and social media presences is smash my palm against my face. No, I frankly couldn't care less about a few shitty RAC bands pretending to be black metal in Ukraine bitching about the European Union, the evils of globalization (while simultaneously promoting their pan-european "elitist" "brotherhood" of kewl hooligan bros), posing in empty fields with hunting rifles, making super "elite" skin tight tank tops (or, in their jargon, "muscle shirts" (!)) for boys and girls, posing in 80's style exercise video backgrounds to show off their "kewl", "edgy" "elitist" wear to all their fellow hooligan bro's, all I ask is that you write a decent riff. If Himmler's spirit is particularly generous with you, maybe even two decent riffs.

There was a time, now long forgotten, where Famine had the gift to conjure up some truly original riffs that would follow you around for days. I'm sad to say those days are now dead and gone. On the plus side, Scooter sounds so god damn amazing compared to side B of "Au Gouffre". So thanks for that.

- Az

(Originally published at www.goatstapo.blogspot.com)