God Was Created

The Thoughts From Which I Hide felt like a slow, bumpy bus ride through all of the tired clichés of millennial melodeath, whereas its follow-up, God Was Created, felt like an ungodly hurricane made out of radioactive tarantulas. That's all I really wanted to say, but if you insist I elaborate, God Was Created is one of my favorite albums of all time, because it truly is the complete package: Ghoulish, cerebral melodies, enshrouding a wonderfully written yet deeply unsettling story of a crazed stalker's pursuit of a Catholic schoolgirl who only has eyes for Jesus.

"Tanuki, you sexless ponce, this sounds more edgy than a geometry textbook, why are you wasting our time with a concept album about a schizophrenic murderer getting cuckolded by Our Lord and Savior?", I hear you ask. And I admit, a bible-bashing death metal album from the early 2000's does not sound particularly appetizing on paper, but the real magic here is in the details. With a passing glance, you might assume this album is oozing with all that foul-smelling misogyny one could expect from this era of extreme metal, but look closer and you'll see it's highly critical of overbearing, negligent, hypocritical father figures. Chief among them? Jesus. In addition, both the stalker and his victim suffer abusive fathers, who serve as catalysts that set the macabre tale into motion.

The delirious culmination 'The Lord's Work', feels deliberately inconclusive: Was it all just a cautionary tale about the dangers of obsession? Or was it meant to represent how the terrorization and destruction of a young girl is reflected when they're taught to accept inherently sexist religious dogma in an oppressive environment? And gee, I wonder why a parallel was drawn between Jesus Christ and an obsessive maniac who judges your every move and watches you while you touch yourself? In conclusion, death metal is not exactly a fertile landscape for interesting concept albums (can you name any, besides Elvenefris and The Diarist?), so God Was Created deserves special praise for being a concept album with extended metaphors that could actually mean something.

As you might expect, most of the vocals are delivered through chasmal grunts that sound like the groaning hull of a rusty container ship, so chances are you won't understand a word he's saying anyway. This bestial growling style is atypical for melodic death metal, sounding far more at home in the climes of brutal death metal instead, a la Frank Mullen or Lord Worm. This creates a captivating and unsettlingly monstrous atmosphere that will take unsuspecting listeners off guard, particularly when the inhuman roars are paired alongside sorrowful, bittersweet melodies like the bridge of 'I Must Not Live', or the intensely unnerving "Watching her in her room, I am in love with her" mantra in 'She Never Noticed Me'.

Chief among this album's magnificences is its guitar artisanship. The euphonies on display here are often mentioned in the same breath as Intestine Baalism. Ghostly, saturnine melodies hover above these sickening chugs, which should not only remind you of Banquet in the Darkness, but also the Swedish all-stars like Dismember and Edge of Sanity that helped put this style on the map. The unorthodox approach to melody and song structure will have Purgatory Afterglow fans feeling right at home, with complex waltz time signatures and a gourmet of moody, unforgettable passages. My all-time favorite setpiece of this album would have to be the grandiose bridge of 'Christ, I Fucking Hate You'. It's such an effective and effusive harmony; it sounds like something Marty Friedman and Jason Becker would've written, if they were asked to write a metal theme for Blasphemous. It also briefly put me in the mind of Artillery's 'Bombfood', oddly enough, and I've gone on record calling that one of the greatest setpieces in thrash metal history.

Every track of this album has a part that gives me goosebumps, and by the time 'The Lord's Work' grinds to a close, it feels like a werewolf dominatrix just curbstomped my face into an open waffle iron. And if you're new to my reviews, my praise doesn't get any higher than that. Seriously, this is the first and so-far only 100% I've ever awarded, and that means I believe we're discussing an album that is well and truly perfect, from note to note. In fact, I'm fairly sure loving this album so much has ensured I'm going to Hell.