The Beast

If there's a list of "legends" somewhere under the cacophonous dome we call 'extreme music', Vader; had they chosen to split up right after the release of De Profundis; would fit quite snuggly next to Malevolent Creation. The songs purveyed from their demo material through their legendary 2nd full length are absolutely essential, crushing Slayer-influenced Death/thrash at it's finest, whipping out breakneck tempos and excellent riffs faster than you can say... well, something long, facetiously poetic and cliche relating to the manifest of 'astonishment', I suppose.

Unfortunately, Vader lacked the balls to drop out on a hot note, or the brains to realize how mediocre their schtick became with the follow up album, Black To The Blind. The way I see Vader nowadays is much like I see Jennifer Tilly. Sure, back in the 80's and so on she was an apparent hot commodity, with her unorthodox beauty, ample curvature, and the artsy quality of her photoshoots. But now, much like Vader, she's become older, and as much as one would like to immerse themselves in wank-related worship, there's really nothing left to be wanked to but a sassy face that could be your cosmetic slathered Aunt Patricia.

Vader, I'll admit, is consistent. They've been putting out albums forever and haven't shown any signs of closing down, but the way they rehash and borrow has become far too obvious to ignore. Okey, you guys like Slayer and clearly have a near worriesome attraction to older Morbid Angel, try some progression for once. Carcass did it. Not one Carcass album sounds like the last. 'The Beast' is exactly what you'd expect from Vader a decade or so after their opus was revealed. It's somewhat bland, repetitive, but pulls a few tricks once in a while. The music here does slow down quite a bit more than other releases, entering doom territory, if you want to call it that, but for the most part, it's just endless blasting with sleeptastic monotone riffing. The new drummer, whatever-his-name-is, plays his skins fairly well, but without that somewhat punkish element found in the good ol' days, it fails to hit any high-water mark above standard black metal pounding.

The riffs, as I said, are nothing special, unless you've never heard any death metal band before you heard this album, and throw in quite a few ridiculous, seemingly-random, squealy solos that just go on and on until I inadvertently reach for the fast forward button. Vocals share the same traits, and are fairly singular and strangely backed up. Sure, he releases a screech here and there, but if the solos didn't impress, these outbursts sure as hell won't. Production doesn't rack up any points with me either, as the entire package reminds me of the musical interpretation of Ben Stein as the economics teacher in 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'. Every beat, chop, lick, and solo immediately is converted by my slobbish neurons to the droning question "Bueller? Bueller?" Would you really be interested in listening to that for over 40 minutes?

As much as I'd like to call Vader a legend and buy their shirts, see their shows, kill sheep in their name, I just can't bring myself to enjoy this. Something tells me it's really Dan Seagrave behind the early sounds of Malevolent Creation and Vader. It's plausible. Why else would both of these established acts turn to shit just like that? 'Stillborn' was the last worthwhile listen grunted out of Malevolent Creation, and just look at The Ultimate Incantation. A pattern... hmmm...
Anyway, everyone present seems totally obsessed with these guys already, and I doubt this will sway any opinions, but goddamn, don't you people like creativity once in a while? I'm done.