Trans Cunt Whip

Tsatthoggua are rather lucky that their songs have, one could say, "distinct" titles, because I do not think I have ever spelled Tsatthoggua right without looking at it. I do not know much about the history of the band or the personalities involved, but I can make a few guesses. These guys were likely the classic sleazy metalhead stereotypes that love drinking, porn, and being edgy, and hate Christianity, the mainstream, and any kind of moralizing. Luckily for us, they managed to put aside the drugs and BDSM gear long enough to make some albums.

I will be upfront, "Trans Cunt Whip" is not the album you play to try to convince your friends that black metal isn't nonsensical, offensive, and edgy noise. There is not much atmosphere, emotion, or genuinely stirring sections. This is also not the kind of traditional, TNBM style of black metal that satisfies the seemingly-endless demand for Mayhem clones. Instead, this is a primitive, juvenile, and entertaining release that has a similar vibe to Mayhem's "Deathcrush", though I suppose it is somewhat closer to what most would consider black metal then that. This is the kind of album you listen to when you want to remind yourself why black metal will never go truly mainstream, despite the best efforts of Cascadian hipsters and Scandinavian ex-pop stars.

Considering how bad the lyrics are, the instruments are surprising competent. The guitars are fast, perhaps not "hyperspeed" fast, but fast nonetheless. The drummer, "Lightning Bolt", is consistently solid, and the bass is occasionally audible, which is always a nice threat in a genre known for mixing the lower end into the void. The vocalist is decent, but not unique, but if you want something innovative, this is not the band for you. Black/thrash is a decent description of the sound, and I suspect that these guys were fans of both genres.

The lyrics and song titles are the true stars here, and even if you don't listen to the band, I highly encourage you to at least glance at the glorious mish-mash of anti-Christianity, perversion, drug praise, Lovecraft, and even pseudo-Nazism that fill this album. If you, like me, enjoy Abigail and Barbatos, this is the German equivalent. Like those bands, you get plenty of barely-English screeds, mixing horny songs about BDSM with crossdressers and urine fetishism a track that starts in shouting, fascist-sounding German and something about some kind of Eldritch thing. Basically, they take most of the low-brow black metal staples and run with them, and I doubt they were taking this as seriously as many of the more artsy black metal bands that have emerged since.

If you like sleazy, fast, and raw black/thrash, you will like this album. If you prefer your black metal a little more philosophical, you won't. With lyrics like "Birth without a fuck, Ha, all Christians suck, Courtesan Mary slut" you know what you are getting into. Fun, listenable, but not exceptional, bands like this may be a dying breed, and in an age where bands are increasingly asked to police their lyrics, it is a blast listening to a handful of guys having fun trying to piss off the squares. I recommend this, but do not expect anything that will change your life.