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A catchy if not flawed attempt at commercialism. - 80%

Splimis, January 14th, 2013

When you look at this band's previous and subsequent works, it is obvious that this is not a common sound for them. You would have to have a wooden ear to not hear that this album was carefully put together by its creators for commercial success. That being established, the question you have to ask yourself of this record is weather It fulfilled its intent or not. Its not as simple as "I like it" or "I don't like it". The answer to the question is both yes and no.

Yes, because to this day this is this bands most commercially successful record. No, because it still didn't make them all that popular. On its own terms its a completely acceptable affair, its nothing more than an attempt at mass acceptance, and doesn't try to be a larger, or more sophisticated body of work. You have to drop a lot of preconceived notions of what metal is supposed to be to understand why this album is good. They weren't trying to make a break through, genre defining, magnum opus here. The title track is "The Beauty and the Beast" for crying out loud. This was an album aimed at peoples ears from the very start.

You need a few things in the year 1987 in a rock record in order to get mass radio play. Number one, bring forth the pop synths. Remember, Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" had just come out. I should not have to remind you of how much synth there is in that song. So BATB (as I will now abbreviate this album) covers that base early and obviously in the title track. Pop synths: check.

Next, lets take a look at what the number one single of that year was. I doubt anyone remembers, but I looked it up, it was "Walk Like an Egyptian" by the Bangles. Oh joy. So what did that song have that gave all the stupid people an eargasm? I'll save you all the trouble of listening to it by telling you that it was an unreasonable amount of good cheap catchiness. Its upbeat, its in a major key, you can dance to it, you can play it to almost any demographic, and no one is offended (except maybe some Egyptians). So, where can we find this in BATB? Well, its nearly every-goddamn-where. I compared all the songs in the album to "Walk like and Egyptian" on a time signature/ tempo basis. Call of the Wicked, Just for One Night, Tigers of the Sea, and Welcome to Bedlam all have a 4/4 time signature that hovers around the 180-190 bpm range just like the aforementioned song, and they'll all in a major key. Catchy upbeat song writing: Check.

Now what would seal the deal for a potential pop metal single on a very pop metal album? Hmmmm, you know what was big back then? Metal singers doing duets with chicks. Once again, the title track. Ozzy followed their cue a year later when he did "Close My Eyes Forever". Then Dave Mustain did it with that chick from Lacuna Coil. Even Lemmy took part in this practice with some woman named Doro Pesch. Theres more of them too. The point is that this was a popular tactic around that time, its probably some attempt to keep the female demographic involved in the scene.

There are other things that made this album really exceptionally mass media friendly, but those are the main points I wanted to illustrate. When you are making an album with the clear intent to sell a bunch of records, you start noticing formulas and repeated themes. Does it compromise the total integrity of the album in the vastness of metal, yes. Does it compromise itself as a work of up beat poppy metal goo, no, as it is clearly not trying to be anything loftier than that.

Now that I've spent too much time explaining all that crap, lets get to the actual music, shall we? Despite this being an obvious attempt to reach some kind of audience, I admire the honesty in the music. Nothing is disguised or ambiguous here. You're practically punched in the face by how pompous and upbeat this is, and you know what? Its damn consistent. The tone of this album follows through straight to the end. The only time it kind of dips into a more solemn tone is "Russia's on Fire", but that song still sounds like it belongs with the rest.

I won't burden this already long review with a track by track review, but I will mention my favorite tracks. This doesn't happen often, but I have to admit that the last 3 songs are my favorites, "Russia's on Fire", "Cheyenne", and "Welcome to Bedlam". "Russia's on Fire" seems to me to be no less gloomy than a nice depressive black metal song. The notes could have been tremolo picked if this song were done by a different band. As it is played, however, its perfectly fine. Nothing feels missing, or over indulgent, just a level headed, plodding, melodic song. There is one weird part, an interlude features a woman delivering some kind of monologue in russian. I asked my friend who speaks the language fluently to tell me what she was saying, but its so washy sounding that he couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"Cheyenne" appeals to me because of its pacing and riffage. Its probably the closest thing to true thrash or speed metal on the whole album. Double bass is always a plus. The song also features some Blind Guardian-like lead guitar harmonies, also always a plus. I can't lie and say that it isn't worthlessly catchy, because it is, and I know some people don't appreciate that. It works for my taste. Unlike a lot of metal musicians, I don't have a problem with major keys. I'll skip the paragraph on "Welcome to Bedlam", because I'd only be reiterating things.

Finally, after I've said all of that, I hope you understand where I am coming from with my review of this cd. I tried as hard as possible to not be "I like it, its good" or "I hate it, its bad". Foregoing the pretense of my personal tastes seemed paramount to make an effective review. Overall, if you're open minded, and don't get furious over mildly over stated pop metal records from the 80s (if thats not a forgiving decade for this sort of thing, than I don't know what is) than I suggest giving this a shot. That is if you can find the damn thing, these Stormwitch records are getting sparse. If theres one song I would absolutely tell you to skip, it would be the title track. It just reeks of failed-pop-hit-singleness. They set out to make this record exactly what it ended up being, and although that may not please all of us, they did a good job of it.