Agent Orange

This is Sodom's best, at least of the ones I have heard (I am missing two or three from the 1990s). The great thing about this album, is that of the nine songs, six have a monster fucking jaw-dropping thrash break. Some of these are the most overt ever written. The first six songs are legendary, the last three merely okay. Overall, a very strong thrash album.

Starting off, Agent Orange... the fire that does not burn!!! Right from the get-go we have an efficient-pace headbanging monster of a riff, then some more before we start into the verses. We speed up, here's Tommy Angelripper with his lethal German accent. The chorus is a bit repetitive, but the riffs are fucking solid. Then, after one more verse... Thrash break!!! Sorta like the Chinese Fire Drill - everyone out of the car, go fucking crazy, and it's all different now, man thrash breaks are the stuff dreams are made of. Speed up, throw in a few more riffs, a sloppy but effective solo and then back to the verses. Man, what a song. Textbook thrash right here.

Next - Tired and Red. The main verse riff is total Sodom - pretty much of the type that they've had over the past God only knows how many albums. These guys know how to milk a somewhat limited riff set and do it well - again, what really makes this band interesting is the counterpoint riffage, and that's what makes this album so good, that those riffs are so frequent and prominent. Anyway, about 1.49 in, you think the song is fading out, then... little acoustic interlude. Opeth, take notes, this is good stuff!! Then at 2.38.

"You have been hit upside the head with a large riff-like entity. There are broken teeth on the floor. Passages lead to the north and to the east. What shall we do?"

STAY AND BANG!!!! Holy god eating a frozen vagina fuckstick while a thousand monkeys copulate in the background. And this riff goes on for about a minute and a fucking half, and never gets old. Now THAT's a riff, kids. One more verse and game over. What a fucking game.

Incest starts off average, goes through some fast verses, fast soloing, and then... you guessed it!! Jaw-breaking midpace riff!! Man, when I was a kid, we had good music, none of this Haunted bullshit you young ones think are thrash. I'll show ya what REAL thrash is. THIS IS REAL THRASH.

Remember the Fallen.... now this is how to do a ballad. It sounds just like the rest of their songs. Cheesy bands, take note - when you want to write a song for your dead homey, make it fast, make it loud. I don't think Sodom have ever written a ballad - just blazing fucking thrash monsters. This one moves along at efficient speed, it's like they start with the midpaced thrash riff. Sounds good to me. They speed up every once in a while too, another good one. Four for four on the winner scale so far.

Magic Dragon - this isn't about puff, it's about fucking war! KRIEG IST KRIEG!!! Yes, and Socrates ist Socrates, but I diverge. Another midpaced monster opener, then we seriously fucking speed up and the solo grows more and more incoherent... what's this at 4.29? Fast fucking thrash break! Three riffs in series assault your goddamn senses, leave you dead, ALL OPETH FANS MUST DIE!!!!

(I love writing incoherent reviews while slightly buzzed. Jagermeister und Sodom ist Krieg!!!! Hey, my German ist improving when I drinken. Schweet.)

Anyway... to the Exhibition Bout. Fast song. Kinda fast thrash break, but oh yeah you fucking notice the difference in the riff style. This album is so fucking brilliant in that sense of the word. Oh yes, das est Einstein.

Ausgebombt. Here is where the album kinda takes a mood change. This sounds like a Motorhead song, not a total thrash monster, but it is still one of my favourites on the album. "save us from the wintry cold!" It's catchy, it's fun, and I really like Motorhead, so fucken you.

Baptism of Fire - back to the thrashing heavy stuff. Solid midpaced opener, speed up, and then in the middle... what we have is a solo break. The riff under the solo does not annihilate me... but the fast riff after the solo definitely does!!! Good things come to those who wait. Not a textbook thrash break, but still this song exhibits the ten classic signs of ownage. (Signs 1 to 10: riffs.)

The last song is a Tank cover - remember Motorhead, this band sounds like them. This is classic speed metal and again decently executed. It's probably the weakest song on here, but that just gives relative praise to the rest of the album, which is a total Christ-fucking of the highest order.

Well, that brings us to the end, kids. Good bye. Hope you enjoyed the review. I'm gonna go get my neck surgery now.