Haunting Ballads

What happens when you take a band with a few good riffs, and a few decent thrash songs and get them to record some lame ass "Ballads" in some sort of ill conceived attempt to land a record deal? You get the kind of cassette tape that should have been out of print before it was even pressed. Kindly repackaged for consumption on a (thankfully) limited double CD compilation, "Haunting Ballads" is the kind of garbage I would be, quite frankly, embarrassed to have recorded, let alone released.

Starting with the six minute track "Visit Me", it is immediately obvious that this is a recording trying to land a record deal and not one that's going to interest many of the group's core fanbase. With generic acoustic guitar patterns, pretty horrible melodic vocals, and poorly produced sound, the first 4 minutes of this song are only saved by the fact that none of it is memorable, and thus, doesn't pollute your brain with it's atmospheric, emotional nonsense. Then, after 4 minutes, the song tries to become one of those trendy "Thrash Ballads", picking up the pace, adding an electric guitar, heavier drums, and more "aggression". Now, while this was a cool, novel idea in 1984, this songs falls flatter on its face than you ever thought was possible before, being badly written, poorly performed, and boring the listener into a state of sleep previously only attainable through days of mediation or head injuries.

Next, we're treated to "Lady in the Lake", or as I prefer to think of it, "Lady Who Drowned Herself in the Lake Because She Was Forced to Endure This God Awful Song". The terrible, whining, double tracked vocals make me want to staple my ears shut, especially considering the horrible, sappy lyrics, delivered without any sort of real emotion. This was recorded purely for radio play, completely oblivious to the fact that the song is unlistenable.

So why any points at all? It's pretty short, which means listeners need not suffer for more than ten minutes per listen. It's also fairly well mixed, all of the instruments are heard relatively well, and that's no mean feat considering the production makes it sound like it was recorded in a damp cellar with a one track tape recorder.

On the unlikely chance you happen to come across these songs at some point through your musical travels, I pity you. Having listened to these songs several times to try and discover redeeming qualities, I have found none. There's nothing wrong with a good ballad or two, but Skitzo appear to have forgotten the "good" part when it came to penning these slabs of shite, avoid.