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Wet like flounder slit (but catchier). - 48%

TheEndIsNigh, October 17th, 2020
Written based on this version: 2016, Digital, Independent

I've talked about how there're bands who like to joke around and not take everything seriously. That's okay, it's good to let go and have some dumb fun from time to time. A lot of these bands are typically pretty hokey, usually entirely aware of their humorous nature. Reviewing these bands can sometimes be a real chore; firstly, you have to make sure you get the joke or at least understand it. From here, you can look beyond it and find the stuff worth talking about. More often that not, you rarely find stuff worth discussing with these bands, unless they're crazy talented and are able to do some serious composing.

I'm glad to say Sharkfucker actually have something to talk about.

Another band with a kooky lyrical/visual gimmick, Sharkfucker are all about thrash metal and sticking dicks in aquatic animals. For whatever reason, I find this pretty funny. Metal's tendency to not only tolerate, but encourage transgressive theming has always made for bands as ridiculous as they are unique to find an audience and flourish. Just another reason why I simply love metal music. Sharkfucker's entire gimmick isn't pushed as far as one might think, but the dedication to keeping it up across four full-lengths and a number of singles is commendable (begrudgingly). Although, it's nice to know that there are musicians are still keeping some corners of Bandcamp weird. Good on them.

So, this is their fourth album, creatively titled Sharkfucker 4, and it's about as good as one might expect. The production is muddy and uneven, the drums are achingly digital, and for whatever reason the vocals are horribly reverbed. Like, this album feels more like blackened thrash then anything else. That's probably what it fails at most, having any kind of decent production. That being said, these guys can play. Like the guitar is fast and aggressive, riffs are solidly executed, and as digital as the drums are, they do feel like they were performed with human input. At least I like to think they were (they probably weren't, though).

Unfortunately, technical capability doesn't save the album. Songs are composed rather blandly, although they do have a semblance of catchiness. You can definitely headbang to them, and there's a bit of forethought in place. However, a lot of them follow the same formula: there's an intro, then the drums kick in with wild soloing, then the verse-chorus-etc. part. And that's fine, it's just mixed with the production and the same-y riffs and lack of variation song to song, Sharkfucker 4 ends up being kind of a lame experience.

HOWEVER. This release has a standout: 'Leviathan ; The Dark Depths.' This ten-minute monstrosity is really well-done. I had fun listening to this more than the rest of the album. It's a real rollercoaster, it never sits in one place for long, and has some legitimately cool moments. When 'Leviathan' gets melodic, its noticeable and gives the track life. Absolutely the high mark of Sharkfucker 4 (and I'm aware of how silly that sounds. Hence why it's here).

Look, this is so far from good that it's unfunny, but the fact that this was at least a decent ride that gave me serious material to work with is hilarious and surprising. Sharkfucker seem to have fallen off the radar since this release, but you know what, maybe its a disappearance with little lost. As long as Bandcamp's around and heavy metal continues to encourage similarly-minded weirdos, we might see an even goofier answer to our departed Sharkfucker. Also, this is the silliest shit I've maybe ever reviewed, and I'm glad it was even listenable.