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Morbid Visions - 40%

Big_Robot_Monster, April 9th, 2016

I have had a bone to pick with this fucking album since I was 16 years old. This album gets every pass in the world from metalheads for being so “raw” and “evil.” Yup, it’s definitely both those things, but it still sucks. If I had to pick just one album that’s praise is entirely undeserved, “Morbid Visions” would be it.

First things first: The music here is completely uninspired. Yeah, I said it. This shit sounds like a third rate Slayer clone tripped over a shitty Venom cover band. The lyrics are dumb as hell, but whatever. They were translated from Portuguese, so I’m gonna let about 25% of my beef with them slide. The remaining 75% of my beef is about the subject matter. Seriously, how many generic songs about Satan and how poopy Christianity is do you assholes need? Here’s a hint: not a whole album’s worth. But that lack of originality and imagination in songwriting pales in comparison to the amateur hour musicianship here.

I am at a complete loss to how Sepultura forgot to even tune their fucking instruments on this album. That’s like the first lesson in Guitar Playing 101: Tune your fucking guitar. Like, what? No one started playing and though “Hey, this sounds like total ass…what’s up with that?” And as much as Igor Cavalera would improve on later albums, his performance here suuuuuucks. It’s like he thought that keeping on beat was more of a suggestion than a hard and fast rule of drumming. The vocals are, I don’t know. Raw? Fuck it. I don’t want to talk about the vocals. They’re not that interesting. Also, I would talk about the bass, but I think they probably forgot to add it into the mix. It is literally almost entirely inaudible.

And now, here to talk about what is inexplicably considered the crown jewel of “Morbid Visions,” me! Let’s talk about the production. It’s bad. Awful. Terrible. Grab a thesaurus and find more negative words, because it is the straight worst. It’s so RAW, right? Like an evil tin can. The guitar tone is thin and squeaky and pretty grating all around, which is equal parts production and (again) forgetting to tune the fucking things. The most you can hear of the bass is a vague sense of a low end here and there. The drums sound like they’re made of cardboard that’s starting to get kind of wet from a leak in the roof of the cut-rate studio that obviously oversaw production of this album.

“Morbid Visions” is a C- album that gets dragged way down by shitty production. It actually gets to a point where it’s fucking punishing to listen to. It doesn’t even point in the musical direction that Sepultura would be heading by the very next year with “Schizophrenia.” The ONLY redeeming quality this album has is that it isn't that long, so I didn't have to suffer too long re-listening to it to write this review.

Unless you have a compulsion to listen to a band’s complete discography, or are just kind of brain damaged, there is absolutely no reason to listen to this. Oh, you don’t agree? Go ahead, then. Give it a good, solid, honest listen and tell me if there’s really anything redeemable about “Morbid Visions” beyond it sounding “evil.” (There isn’t. Basically all extreme metal sounds “evil.” You’re an idiot.)