The War to End All Wars

“War to end all wars, it’s a clash of honor, blood and steel.” Shit, wrong band. Anyway this is Sabaton’s second WWI album and if you heard the last one, you can skip this because it’s the same. Taking the next step in the sell out game Sabaton literally wrote the lead single Steel Commanders as an ad (“in cooperation with”) for some crappy ass pay to play game they’re peddling. The song is rather obviously trying to channel the ol’ Ghost Division feel - because tanks and in turn because memes - but all that does is show just far they’ve strayed from that once massive, forceful sound.

That and other mediocre singles not featured herein paved the way for The War to End All Wars. Their tenth. Even at a fairly modest 45 minutes, The War to End All Wars just manages to be too long. Roundabouts when Christmas Truce rolls in (and it’s five boring minutes long) you kind of expect the spectacle to be over.

Sabaton scrape the bottom of the barrel, break through and present the moldy underside with singles The Unkillable Soldier (ok, the video was fun) and Soldier of Heaven (which overly romanticizes the subject matter). Both disgustingly poppy and overdone with near non-existent guitar work. Catchy, sure, but as power metal songs mediocre at best. It’s just incredibly by the numbers by this point, and literally every song would have a better counterpart in Sabaton’s previous discography.

All right, so there are some highlights. Tommy Johansson pulls a sneaky on us and actually smashes some sweet riffing in Hellfighters - a song which is still dragged down by an overly grating vocal performance from Joakim Brodén. Stormtroopers makes that blast of firepower, unleashing the inherent power in Sabaton’s style and manages to feel fresh and invigorating. The speedy approach helps heaps as well, as much of the album is very mid tempo - close to stagnating at times; especially that sluggishly boring Dreadnought which is neither epic nor interesting or even the slightest bit inspired.

As a modern Sabaton album I guess it’s still passable, because they’re all so much the same; The Last Stand (2016) and The Great War (2019) both hit the exact same buttons as this one. Attempts at buttery anthems like the abysmal Christmas Truce just hammer it in; they’re not even trying to be the unique band they once were. I mean, they tried a few years back with standalone single Bismarck (2019) which rocked plenty, but then they did nothing more like that ever again and everyone cried.

From the fact that some versions lack the opening track (Sarajevo) which is supposed to be - you know, the goddam opening track! - to the utter devolution of the band’s own sound, self plagiarism deluxe and the pseudo epic sound that gets more grating the more you listen to the album, this stuff really doesn’t cut it. Even if it wasn’t a mediocre album with precious few redeeming qualities, The War to End All Wars turns out to be all that’s wrong with modern metal. Sabaton sold out long ago, now they’re really letting their fans pay for it.

Standout tracks: Stormtroopers, The Valley of Death

Some stories, be they historical or fictional, are just too large to be contained in a single album, or at least that is the logic behind Sweden’s most popular power metal export Sabaton’s latest studio venture. Coming just under three years since the World War I-centered conceptual endeavor and their 9th studio LP The Great War took the mainline metal consuming public by storm, vocal helmsman, keyboardist and amateur war historian Joakim Broden and his band of merry Swedes have opted to put forth a sequel of sorts in their 10th studio album to date The War To End All Wars. Yet while this band has become known for sticking to a highly stylized approach to songwriting that puts sing-along hooks ahead of technical intrigue, this time around the formula has been tweaked a bit, revealing an album that takes the idea of a book-on-tape approach to power metal to its logical conclusion and also throws in a greater share of virtuosic flourishes for good measure.

Those with an insatiable appetite for the documentary film approach to conveying a narrative that is regularly seen on The History Channel will definitely find a familiar affair here. If anything, Sabaton’s lyrical delivery involves a somewhat counterintuitive approach of telling rather than showing, featuring an expansive amount of spoken narration segments that would make the excessive ones employed on Rhapsody Of Fire’s Emerald Sword saga seem measured by comparison. But to their credit, this power quintet gets the job done in the musical department, as the keyboard-steeped consonance of the instrumentation, driving force of the rhythm section and Broden’s haggard, gravely baritone bark paints a vivid picture of the duality of presumed glory and actual horror that goes along with the subject in question. The brightest spot on this blustering musical affair is the solo work of Majestica mastermind and guitarist Tommy Johansson, who brings a charming neo-classical virtuoso twist to an otherwise highly straightforward presentation.

Approaching this auditory recount of the First World War in a semi-chronological manner, an impressive, if somewhat bloated overture dubbed “Sarajevo” kicks things off with a point by point lyrical recount of Archduke Franz Ferdinand’s assassination and the initiation of hostilities in the Balkans. Instrumentally speaking, this opening proves an effective tension builder with a decent chorus hook and an elaborate arrangement of synthesized orchestral sounds, but the spoken narrations detract from the flow of things a fair bit. Nevertheless, once things get going with the first complete song, namely the fast-paced and riff-happy banger “Stormtroopers”, the classic Sabaton that has been delivering the same caliber of memorable power metal anthems since 2005 rears its head. In comparable fashion, simply structured songs like “The Unkillable Soldier”, “Race To The Sea” and “The Valley Of Death” hit the ears with an instant sense of familiarity that is, nevertheless, fresh and vital, fed and fattened by the highly competent six-string sorcery of Chris Rorland and Tommy Johansson.

As previously noted, this album manages to throw a few intricate surprises into the mix of what is otherwise a mostly typical musical affair for this fold. The first of these comes in the form of a blistering, thrash-tinged speeder in “Hellfighters”, which contains most of the lofty keyboard and vocal elements of the rest of them album but slams down a nasty set of riffs and a driving beat like something out of mid-90s Iced Earth. By contrast, the keyboard-heavy and 80s New Wave-tinged interlude “Soldier Of Heaven” trudges into sonic territory more in line with what Battle Beast and Metalite have been dabbling in of late. But the most out of the ordinary composition to grace this collection is the yuletide-tinged recount of the WWI holiday ceasefire “Christmas Truce”, which sounds quite similar to material heard on Majestica’s Christmas-themed 2020 album and also frequently appropriates elements of the Ukrainian holiday piece “Carol Of The Bells”, a bittersweet irony given the current state of affairs in said nation.

It is generally stipulated that a band’s latest studio effort will tend to be regarded as their best, at least by the progenitors themselves, but an honest assessment of The War To End All Wars falls more along the lines of a solid outcome. The only thing that really hampers this album, apart from maybe a little too much lyrical optimism regarding one of the worst eras of modern history, is that the overdone narratives provided at the album’s opening and four minutes plus epilogue “Versailles” hamper what are two strong instrumental offerings. It’s a mostly forgivable Persian Flaw in an otherwise impressively designed carpet, but there is definitely something to be said for letting the music stand on its own from time to time. Existing fans of Sabaton, who are great in number, will definitely enjoy what is in store for them here, though their smaller yet vocal collection of skeptics will likely remain unconvinced. But at the end of the day, fan service has been what this band truly excels at, and there is no shortage of catchy fun here for those who crave it.

Originally written for Sonic Perspectives (www.sonicperspectives.com)

Less than three years after the conceptual record about the First World War entitled The Great War, Swedish quintet Sabaton releases yet another conceptual album about the same topic which is similarly titled The War to End All Wars. This opening statement alone goes to show that the Swedish heavy metal band is running out of ideas and repeating itself over and over again.

To be fair however, this record shows some minor improvements in the songwriting department. The band combines catchy, epic and poignant choruses with gripping female spoken word passages introducing and concluding the context of the historical events in ''Sarajevo'' and ''Versailles''.

The band also uses majestic orchestral arrangements and powerful backing vocals in soothing ballad ''Christmas Truce'' that clocks in as the longest tune on the album at just above five minutes and does the touching topic justice. This song about friendship, hope and togetherness doesn't only work in relation to the historical events referenced here but also in connection to many things that are still going on in this world as history keeps repeating itself.

This release also includes a few decent heavy metal tunes. ''Stormtroopers'' opens with discordant guitar chords and leads into a tight mid-paced anthem that should work splendidly in concert. This song gets to the point in just four minutes and never overstays its welcome. The balance between catchy vocal lines and gripping musicianship works very well in this case.

''Dreadnought'' is another tight heavy metal stomper with a few interesting twists. The guitar riffs surprise with odd breaks that avoid the usual stereotypes. The sounds of waves in the overture as well as in the coda add some atmospheric depth as well. Sabaton proves that it still can be creative and push the boundaries.

The main issue is that all other songs are bland, exchangeable and forgettable. Simplistic drum patterns and lazy percussive elements meet boringly plodding bass guitar patterns. Generic heavy metal riffs by the numbers are combined with short guitar solos that fail to unfold any kind of magic. The fanfare keyboard sections always sound the same and fail to add any kind of atmosphere. The rough but melodic vocals seem to be on autopilot as well. The mellow production fails to give the material any energy, grit or passion. The songs just plod along unspectacularly one after another. That's a shame because the record's few highlights truly stand out and show the band's unexploited potential.

At the end of the day, I can't recommend purchasing Sabaton's The War to End All Wars despite a few sincere improvements in comparison to the abysmal predecessor The Great War. The band has to fine-tune its songwriting to make every single song stand out. The group would also benefit from a more energetic production as this record suffers from a mastering that would rather suit a pop group than a heavy metal band. Sabaton still has the potential to possibly write a decent album when combining bravery, creativity and energy but this one here has to go down as a miss.

If you can describe an album using only a famous internet meme, then Sabaton’s “War To End All Wars” would hands down be GTA’s “Oh shit, here we go again”. Swedish powerhouse returns with a rehash of all their previous albums, wrapped in a sterile production that will please the majority of their fan base. That doesn’t say a lot now does it?

Sabaton has become so standard that they could well be writing songs just by using the cut/paste feature in Cubase as long as the tempos match. Everything that the band is known for is here again, be it the sloppy vocal delivery, the over-the-top keyboards and orchestrations, the shredding and the anthemic war marches. The song structures and vocal lines are either getting worse on every album or I’m past the point of being mildly amused by the same ideas over and over. They are also running around in circles when it comes to their lyrics, there are only so many ways to describe heroes fighting a valiant war and dying, counting bullets, or operating a historical submarine and they have done it all, multiple times. We’re talking about a Sabaton lyric generator typewriter thing here, it’s that bad.

I always thought that when Sabaton eventually would get really big, they would have the artistic freedom to really kick ass and try some out of the box song writing, you know as they are pretty damn good musicians too begin with, but they seem too far gone on this plastic fantastic approach to everything. Drumkit with zero punch and daring, guitars with no soul that could well be glorified keyboards leave us with a tasteless, soulless inoffensive amalgam of all their previous albums. Every worthwhile idea is not even theirs anymore. There is a blatant rip-off (“homage” I’d suspect) on “Dreadnought” which is a copyright offense against one of the greatest songs ever written (“In Dark Places” by the legendary US metal Gods Crimson Glory) that shadows over the rest of the offerings here.

At the peak of their fame, Sabaton released their most bland an uninspired album (queue Homer Simpson and “their most bland an uninspired album YET”) which fails to generate any sort of feeling, apart from indifference and disbelief. Sure, they will sell a million copies, continue to fill those arenas and bring a fresh batch of 15-16 year old fans to what power metal has become today, but sadly this is the only slightly redeeming quality left about this band. Pity.

You know, I always try giving things a second chance. Whether it’s food, video games, or in this case, music, I think revisiting something with a different mindset at a later time might help you find something you enjoy in something which didn’t inspire you originally. Such is my case with the topic of today’s review, Sabaton. I had originally acquainted myself with the band back in 2019 with the release of The Great War after a friend of mine had recommended the album to me. I was never particularly into the band (or EUPM for that matter) but I decided to take his word for it and give them a shot. I ended up being indifferent to the album, but when The War to End All Wars was announced, I couldn’t help myself and give it a listen. Maybe, just maybe, things would be different and I’d finally be able to see what everyone else sees in Sabaton’s music.

Nope, turns out it’s the exact same as last time, if not worse. For the umpteenth time in their career, Sabaton delivers the same tired pop metal formula that makes an attempt at being epic, with big choruses and overblown synths, perfect for the festival crowd. Every song follows the same simplistic structure of verse-chorus-verse-chorus-solo, and are primarily composed of plodding mid-tempo riffs that try to instil a feeling of grandeur in the listener. Hell, sometimes I’m questioning whether there are any riffs to begin with, seeing as some songs feature synths so prevalent you’d think ABBA wrote these songs. “Soldier of Heaven” and “The Valley of Death” are the most egregious examples of that, with the verses outright lacking any sort of noteworthy guitar work, making one wonder where the “power” in “power metal” went.

The production is what one would expect from a power metal band that is signed on Nuclear Blast in the year of our lord 2022, but I might as well bring it up. We’re being graced with a very sterile job, absolutely bereft of any life whatsoever, leaving us with a shell of an album. Toothless, bright guitars, an unobtrusive drumkit that merely pitter patters away in the background, and a bass that may as well not even be there. Oh and how could I possibly forget the synths, seeing as they’re so loud and in-your-face they’re only overtaken by the vocals themselves. It’s just a botched production, whose aim is to not offend or elicit a strong reaction out of anyone, in order to get as many people listening as possible, regardless of whether they like heavy metal or not.

That being said, there are some notable moments sprinkled throughout the album, and even then, it might just be me grasping at straws in an attempt to get some enjoyment out of this album. “Stormtroopers” is actually one of the few songs here that has some energy to it, even though it’s just a generic fast power metal song, a better version of which appears later on the album, that being “Hellfighters”. While this song, again, follows the same structure and formula as every other track here, it actually boasts a very urgent and powerful pre-chorus, thanks to Joakim Brodén’s gruff, commanding mid-range voice. “Sarajevo” and “Versailles” mirror each other, both in their structure and position in the tracklist, which is something I appreciated in the context of the album, even though both songs are primarily narration driven.

Seeing as we’re talking about a Sabaton album, I have to discuss the lyrics, which are at the core of the experience, and arguably my biggest gripe with The War to End All Wars as a whole. This is their second album following The Great War that tries to tackle World War 1, and it carries the same problems as that one in the lyrical department. The period from 1914 to 1918 saw one of the most brutal conflicts in mankind’s history, with millions of men being thrown in what could only be described as a meat grinder. It’s simply not something you can make happy-go-lucky songs out of, because unlike World War 2, it’s not a war in which there was a clear “villain” the world united against. I’ve no issues with Sabaton writing their bland power metal songs about fighting Nazis, because at least in that case it makes sense to make heroes out of those who fought them. World War 1 just isn’t that, it’s a conflict no person wanted to participate in and one where there are no heroes, only victims.

The only song present here that thematically fits Sabaton’s musical template is “Christmas Truce”. It’s not a particularly good song, in fact it’s probably one of the weakest ones here, but at the very least it fits. The event of the Christmas Truce is one of the few moments of joy that were felt during the war, and it actually makes sense for the band to write a joyful and happy song, because that’s probably how the soldiers themselves felt in that moment. It’s the one time where Sabaton’s tactlessness and predisposition for happy sounding power metal works in their favour. Shame the track isn’t any good.

Let’s be honest, The War to End All Wars might not be particularly good, but it’s still going to be a smash hit, with millions of people listening to it and Sabaton themselves embarking on what will most likely be a successful tour in support of it. But for me, and any seasoned metal listener, there are both better power metal bands, and better World War 1 themed bands. If you absolutely need a WW1 fix go listen to 1914 or Bolt Thrower, they actually treat the conflict with the respect and humility it deserves. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go listen to ABBA’s “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!”.

“Highlights”: Stormtroopers, Hellfighters

When a band grows to become one of the most successful bands of their genre, their music will inevitably start to divide opinions. Fans of the band’s early days might not like the way the music evolves as the band rises to fame, while new listeners don’t appreciate the early albums. In power metal, the first group that springs to mind couldn’t easily be another one than Sabaton. Existing since 1999 and releasing full-length albums since 2005, the Swedish historians have become one of the leaders of the genre (although Sabaton themselves don’t like to label their music as ‘power metal’). With accessible songwriting, informative lyrics about war stories and impressive live shows, Sabaton seem to have hit the jackpot. Now they’re back with their tenth studio album, called The War to End All Wars.

The question to answer here isn’t necessarily whether Sabaton self-plagiarized - because they did and they always will - but rather how well they executed it this time around. For people who like to criticize them for being derivative and uninspiring it would be very easy to shoot this album down as well. We’ve all heard mid-paced song ideas like “Stormtroopers” and marching anthems like “Dreadnought” before, but that doesn’t mean they’re not good. Although indeed unoriginal, both songs kick off the album quite energetically and set the tone for the rest of the war journey. Annoyingly, that’s pretty much it, too. Slow, stomping songs like “Soldier of Heaven” and “Lady of the Dark” are what Sabaton seem to rely on on The War to End All Wars. Faster songs like “Hellfighters” (with a good riff!) and “The Unkillable Soldier” are rarer heard than on the predecessor, The Great War. Are the stomping anthems leftovers from said album? After all…

…The War to End All Wars begins where The Great War left off, because it was decided to write yet another album about World War I. Granted, I applaud their will to dive further into significant events that took place during that time, but it would’ve probably been better if they waited another two, three albums before they picked up the subject again. In too many ways, Sabaton’s new album feels like a rip-off of The Great War. Even the production didn’t noticeably improve, but one could argue that the guitars are a tad more prominent in the mix than on their previous efforts. A compliment to the guitar department has to be made anyway, because Tommy Johansson truly leaves an impression with numerous finger-licking guitar solos.

Even though Sabaton’s tenth full-length is nothing new under the sun (to be honest, who would have expected that anyway?) there’s still plenty of positive things to say. First of all, I appreciate the idea of having a narrative voice integrated in the album to serve as an informative interlude and outro. Sabaton used it on The Art of War, on the history version of The Great War and once again do it here with “Sarajevo” (the beginning of WWI) and “Versailles” (the official ending of WWI). Cleverly, the interlude is written in a minor key, indicating the war is upon us, and the outro is largely written in a major key, at its turn indicating WWI is over. It’s the details that make the album that needed bit better.

It's also the last two real songs on the album about which positive things can be said. “The Valley of Death” is the Sabaton song I could see both old and new fans enjoy, and “Christmas Truce” is a brave step towards something different. It pains me to say, however, that the song has a lot more impact when it’s played together with its excellent music video. So musically, “Christmas Truce” could and perhaps should have been more climactic, given that the lyrics definitely do leave a mark. Thanks to the internet and the many reactions to the song on YouTube, though, I suspect it might remain one of Sabaton’s more appreciated songs in a long time.

The War to End All Wars is not innovative, not particularly exciting, and exactly as Sabaton-y as one might expect. As someone who thinks Sabaton can’t ever reach the same level of brilliance they did on Carolus Rex without their former members Montelius, Mullback, Mÿhr and Sundén, I don’t think Sabaton’s latest will be blasting trough my speakers that often. The sympathetic Swedes do still make enjoyable and quite educational music and they do it very well in their own way, but The War to End All Wars simply doesn’t amaze me enough. I’m sure those who love Sabaton right now don’t care about that at all and will love this album to death anyway.

Highlights: “Stormtroopers”, “Hellfighters”, “The Valley of Death”

The world can be a very grim place, and it's shown in its history and its present; people are born, they grow up, and due to the delusion of power from some tyrannical leader they go die in a war, attacking foreign nations or defending their own fatherland, or an ideology they may not even believe in, and then we have Sabaton making goofy songs about it!

Sabaton were the band that introduced me into metal that one fateful day in which someone shared their 2010 song "White Death" on an online forum, and I decided to listen to it, which was something I rarely did. Ever since that one click, I became a music maniac, and Sabaton were until fairly recent one of my favorite bands; now they're a stain left on my last.fm top 5 that will take years to erase. While Sabaton's old songs are still good, the fact that they haven't changed a single bit and only worsened with time makes their older stuff retroactively bad to my ears.

The swedes offered us a decent-enough effort in 2019, "The Great War", which was cliché and boring at times, but catchy and enjoyable to listen to while doing something tedious. Sadly, after that album pretty much every single thing they've put out has been mediocre at best. "The War to End All Wars" has decided to pretty much continue this streak of creative stagnation, which is certainly surprising coming from the seasoned and skilled musicians that form this band. All I've been able to find in this release has been disappointment and boredom; I've come to artistically despise whom once were my favorite band.

What Sabaton's 10th studio full-length has to offer is a series of lame riffs, repetitive chord progressions, uninspired and copious lyrics, and very formulaic song structures with very few twists or interesting moments worth noting. I can hear the entirety of the band's discography in each of these tracks, all of these songs could very easily be in any of their previous albums, and if I had to listen to bits of each track, I'd probably not be able to tell what album they belong to. It's the exact same type of rhythmic riffing, with anthem-like choruses, Broden's almost obnoxious raspy voice, and the occasional shreddy leads that are more flexing guitar skills than actually providing much to music; basically the equivalent of anime fan service for power metal enthusiasts.

Now, to be fair, there's a decent variety to the compositions we can find here, be it good or bad. We got the very formulaic power metal songs such as the opener "Stormtroopers"¹, the heavier mid-tempo tracks with choirs and power-chord-chugging-based riffing such as "Lady of the Dark", and the fast berserker tracks such as "Hellfighters"... And we also have "Soldier of Heaven" which sounds like a typical '80s hard rock song, complete with a heavily reverbed drum intro with toms that's for some reason reminiscent of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up", synths, and a quiet verse with a bass playing in the background. At least the album isn't just one monotonous pile of computer-generated music, but to be honest, I can't be totally sure that a computer isn't writing Sabaton's songs at this point; perhaps Nuclear Blast found the key to infinite mainstream metal music already in an AI they themselves programmed.

Although already a giveaway from the album's title, the lyrics focus, once again, on the Great War. Although the lyrics themselves are okay-ish, they're basically Frankensteins of all of Sabaton's previous lyrics. I imagine that the lyric-writting process of the band goes like "Find a battle or event, and grab words from a pool, and make it all sound flashy"; 'fray', 'son of [countries]', 'trenches', 'foes', 'rages on', and other words and sentences are repeated throughout not only this album, but the entirety of the swede's discography; at this point it sounds like a parody. The Great War occurred over a hundred years ago, so it can be really hard to grasp the sheer magnitude of this event when maybe two or three people who lived through it remain among the living, being well over a hundred years old, and when the last veteran died a while ago now. The horror of the Great War is still hard to compare: muddy trenches filled with corpses and putrid odors, gas attacks, thousands of soldiers as young as 15 rushing towards a curtain of fire coming from the enemy trench... Sabaton fails at making any of these events justice, or to even try to portray them as the horrors they were, no, instead they sing Disneyfied tales that appeal to the casual listener. While they may be small history lessons, they're really just lame and almost insulting to the memories of those millions of lives lost to the war.

"The War to End All Wars" falls short of any appeal to someone who might be looking for an interesting musical effort, and it is instead an album clearly aimed at the mainstream metal listener who isn't looking for the intricacies in the music, or who probably hasn't developed an extensive taste in music as to compare Sabaton to other lesser-known bands that might even share a similar lyrical topic or aesthetic and deliver way better music, at least in my opinion (looking at you, Civil War and 1914). Unlike them, all I hear here are heavily recycled pompous metal songs that are as predictable as they can be, just a drowning man struggling to swim back to the surface, the remnants of Sabaton's credibility and seriousness rotting away at the peak of their fame. This here album might be catchy at times, flawlessly produced, heavily marketed, and very flashy, but it feels empty, uninspired and boring.

Here is where I lay to rest all the hopes I had of this band bouncing back and finally writing good music again. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.

¹The Spotify release skips Sarajevo and begins with this track, at least as of the time of writing this review.

Here it is, ladies and gentlemen. Yet another abomination by Sabaton: a personified joke gone way too far. One album about WWI was not enough for them, so they decided to make another one. Unfortunately and amazingly, it is much worse that 2019's The Great War. That is most certainly an accomplishment, considering how awful The Great War was.

This album is exactly what you expected it to be if you've heard The Last Stand or The Great War. Sterile, half-assed power-pop bullshit made for 12-year-olds who think that Call of Duty is the best thing in the entire world. Pseudo-epic chord progressions, hooks and song structures that have gone horribly stale long, long before this album came out. Songs that rip off and make a parody of the most banal elements of Gamma Ray, Manowar, Blind Guardian and many other other old school heavy/power metal bands, and even Sabaton's own older material (not as if that's anything new). Powerless guitars which are mostly there because they're supposed to be for this album to be considered metal. Plastic-sounding keyboards which make already shitty songs infinitely shittier. Brodén's mediocre vocals which become more and more grating the more you listen to them (and considering that I've listened to every Sabaton's studio album minimally three times each, including this one, his voice is absolutely unbearable) and are made even worse with the absurd vocal layering that immediately induce an intense migraine. If you've heard any of the last few Sabaton albums, you've already heard this one.

Alright, so the vocals are horrible. What's worse than that is that Brodén's voice completely dominates every single song on display here. Some songs start with a guitar or a keyboard riff that is played once or twice at best, before Brodén overshadows whatever is happening with his sub-par performance. Seriously, it's like he's actively trying to make a complete idiot out of himself (the worst example being The Unkillable Soldier). Worse yet, the vocal lines and hooks are infantile to the point of being downright insulting to the listener's intelligence and maturity. Not even Timeless Miracle is this childish.

What's even more worse are the awful lyrics, as well as their equally awful delivery. Contrary to what Sabaton fans and apologists want you to think, Sabaton never had good lyrics, and this album is no exception (Hill 3234 has easily the worst lyrics ever written, just for the chorus alone). Sabaton has overdone the subject of war to the point that it's no longer possible to take it seriously. Even Deicide is less annoying with constantly writing songs about how Christianity is bad than Sabaton is with constantly writing songs about war. After I listened to The Great War for the last time, I thought to myself: "If I hear Sabaton say war ONE more time, I will lose it." And when I saw the name of the new album, I was completely dumbstruck. Any miniature fragment of respect I had for them had instantly vanished into thin air at that moment.

But, back to the lyrics themselves. As I said, they were never good, and they aren't good here. Their sloppy and haphazard rhyming and the awful vocal delivery, as well as the words themselves, are guaranteed to give you an existential crisis (assuming you have a 3-digit IQ). Let's take a look at The Unkillable Soldier, for example:

"Never die, shot through the eye
Never surrender however they try
How they try, shot through the eye
He'll never die"

Dear goodness... I don't even know what to say. There are many more similarly cringeworthy lyrics on this album, and every time I hear one, my faith in humanity weakens drastically.

This leads us to likely the worst problem with this album, and the worst problem with Sabaton itself. Critics and detractors of Sabaton often argue that, by combining childish and upbeat music with lyrics about real-life conflicts, they glorify war. I cannot agree with that. It's not that Sabaton glorifies war as much as they make a complete farce out of it. Sabaton and their fans claim that they bring many lesser known battles and soldiers popularity and recognition they deserve, but their absolutely childish and inept execution just turns everything into a total parody of itself. They take all the pain, torment and suffering all those soldiers have gone through and turn it into a bunch of cheery, singalong tunes that are more fitting as a soundtrack to a cartoon for toddlers than they are as a depiction of the lyrical topics of the songs. By doing this, not only do they not honor the soldiers, they actively insult them and make fun of the horrors they have gone though. Utterly disgusting.

Even if we ignore the lyrics and the image, there is nothing worthwhile to be found on this album. If you've been listening to metal for a few months at the very least and know what earlier Sabaton albums sound like, you'll know that a lot of the material here is recycled, if not outright plagiarized. The atmospheric break at 2:04 of Stormtroopers is a ripoff of Accept's Balls to the Wall. Soldier of Heaven sounds like a plasticized, lamer version of WASP's Arena of Pleasure, with a chorus indifferentiable from the one of The Last Stand. Hellfighters has that main riff that sounds a lot like Hammerfall's Hearts on Fire, and would be the only decent song here if it wasn't ruined by Brodén's vocals and unimaginative songwriting. Race to the Sea is Sabaton's yet another failed attempt at writing Holy Diver/Warriors of the World United, and in general sounds like a cheap copy of The Last Stand. The Valley of Death is an even lamer version of Seven Pillars of Wisdom. Christmas Truce is Sabaton's most laughable and pathetic attempt at displaying emotion since The Ballad of Bull. Sarajevo and Versailles are supposed to be some sort of intro and outro tracks to the "epic journey" that this album is supposed to be, but with the lame narration and the horrible chorus, they sound like they were rejected from Queensrÿche's American Soldier. Yes, they are that bad.

This album and this band are completely and utterly worthless, and giving this album anything above 0 is an insult to myself as a reviewer, to you as a reader of this review, to anyone who has heard Sabaton and understand why they suck and to every soldier, battle and event sung on this album. I was considering giving this album 1 or 2 points because Johansson's solos and leads are good, if not anything spectacular, but I changed my mind because this is the 10th album of the same old shit over and over again, expect it's even worse than any of the previous albums. The material on this album is so stale and done to death that Johansson's soloing, no matter how good, cannot salvage it. Whatever worth this album may theoretically possess is rendered null when you take into consideration that Sabaton has been doing this shit for almost 20 years with no intention to either stop or make any meaningful improvements. They have no worth as either artists, entertainers or historians. More than likely, they keep writing album after album of the same stale, recycled crap for the sole purpose of making money. They are making a living out of parodying and downright mocking historical tragedies, crimes and disasters. If that is not absolutely revolting, tell me what is.

Let us hope that The War to End All Wars will be the Sabaton album to end all Sabaton albums because at this point, this is neither funny, sad nor pitiful. It's insulting and disgusting, and should not be supported by anyone.