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Feces of Enchanted Asses. - 31%

Nightcrawler, May 16th, 2004

I think I’m gonna have to say that this album sucks beyond belief nearly all the way through. Their completely over-the-top, huge and epic power metal relies on two things: Catchiness and atmosphere. The songs on their debut album “Legendary Tales”, such as “Land of Immortals” and “Warrior of Ice” had some really memorable vocal lines that truly managed to stick to your mind, and that were just a blast to sing along to.
And then songs like “Rage of the Winter” managed to build up some great atmospheres with the well-done orchestrations, standard but very good power metal lead-and soloing, and catchy keyboard melodies fused together into a very interesting style of music, that when done right can be quite effective. And most of the times on “Legendary Tales”, it was done right. However, on their sophomore album “Symphony of Enchanted Lands”, everything went to hell, really.
The songs are just incredibly boring and forgettable, and gone are those big, catchy singalong choruses, and the atmospheres just come off as really forced and uninspired, and the cause of all this is quite easy to spot- they were going for a darker mood. And with bands like Rhapsody, a dark mood over an entire album just does not work. The songs also get quite drawn out, apparently to enhance the atmosphere. But the constructions and orchestrations and huge vocal lines are all blended together into one big mess, and the longer the songs get, the more hideously bored I get. “Beyond The Gates of Infinity”, “The Dark Tower of Abyss” and the ten-minute epic “Symphony of Enchanted Lands” are the songs that are more boring than anything else.
Oh yes, those and the godawful ballad “Wings of Destiny”. Urgh.

There are, however, a few moments that stand out on here – the song “Eternal Glory” ain’t all that bad, with a very memorable, pompous keyboard intro, and the same melody is used for a rather effective guitar riff, which is pretty rare with this band, as most all the riffs sound exactly the same, and those are pretty damn crappy.
Later on in the song, a pretty nifty, epic chorus is found, which leads into a very strong slowed down section. And then it descends into shit when the song suddenly goes ballad on all our asses. But still, they have some nice ideas going on in this song.
The highlight of the album however, is the opener (after the obligatory intro) “Emerald Sword”, probably the most well known Rhapsody tune. They do what they were meant to do, and they do it well. A huge and incredibly catchy chorus is to be found, along with a pretty nice instrumental section. And most importantly, it’s happy – this is The anthem to dancing and prancing in an enchanted forest of elves, which is something few bands could accomplish and actually sound good while doing it. Rhapsody is one of those bands.

Unfortunately, the rest of the album doesn’t hold the same quality, and the high points in “Eternal Glory” and “Emerald Sword” only slightly drag up the rating of this rather horrible album. Uninspired, dreary, boring, overlong, and just generally crappy, this album is, and not worth getting even for the most fanatical power metal freak, unless orchestrations completely make you cream your pants. Cause there are loads of orchestrations in here – the problem is, that they’re just not any good, at all. Nope, this is crap.
Paul Baloff will rise from the fucking dead and eat Luca Turilli's cunt if he doesn't start sucking less. I'll have to get the later Rhapsody albums to see whether Luca's cunt will live or not.