Dawn of Victory

Even without looking, we know what we're going to get. There should be at least one track that includes a Latin title or Latin chanting or some other shit with Latin, a guy doing narration so overblown that even Brian Blessed would probably check with the scriptwriter before he went through with it, and then everything neoclassical, classical, folk, and power metal being thrown at a wide target to see what sticks. And we do get that, just like with every other Rhapsody album. And as with every other Rhapsody album, there are some songs that really move and get you going and others that are so silly you're going to do well not to have a chuckle. I mean, surely someone has thought of a Rhapsody drinking game, where you sip every time the words "sword", "axe" or "steel" are mentioned, swig for each "victory", "triumph" or "glory", and finish your drink for a mention of a magical creature. Even going by the songtitles alone, you'd probably end up in hospital.

So, yes, Rhapsody are pretty silly, but as long as you can accept that, you might find some enjoyable music in among the twee Lord of the Rings fantasy, especially if you don't mind trading in your metal for mad orchestral skills every couple of minutes. Whatever may be said about the tastes of these Italians, it must be said that they can play, so if fast is good enough for you there's every chance you'll be fully satisfied with about half the songs, particularly if those drinking game choruses prove palatable too. Of course Luca Turilli is the main draw in the chops contest, since he's the one shredding like Yngwie Malmsteen on crack, although Alex Staropoli does well to keep up with him on keyboards at times. There are also a few other musicians like a violinist and flautist, who seem to follow the band like the page with the coconut shell in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I also notice the rather questionable inclusion of bagpipes on 'The Village of Dwarves', which is surely surplus to requirements, yet surprisingly quite enjoyable.

As far as songs go, your average metal listener is going to have a bi-polar tussle between the fast songs and the "folkier" ones, basically changing mood with every track, seeing as the album is sequenced in a rather up and down manner. I suppose that most of us will enjoy the fast power metal numbers most, especially the likes of 'Holy Thunderforce' and 'Dawn of Victory', which storm through verses and triumphant choruses at incredible speeds, then generally follow that up by Turilli slapping his flying V-shaped member onto the table and wanking so hard you start to worry about the skin on his fingers. The slower numbers aren't exactly more subtle either, using such an excess of keyboards, choirs, and "atmosphere" that even the quiet parts are only quiet by comparison, though not quiet in relation to, say, a thunderstorm. Put simply, there's a lot to attend to throughout the album; however, the songs are so hyperactive and attempt to be so dramatic that the effect wanes long before the halfway point.

The other problem with the album (and this will afflict metalheads and normal people alike) is that, despite the excess of different instruments and ideas included, almost all of the album is carried out in the same mood. If you hadn't guessed it from the Rhapsody drinking game, that mood is triumphant, which can grow very wearing if your sense of excitement starts to dissipate after the first couple of songs. The reflective moments and moments of suspense are few and far between, usually making room for more exuberant violin or flute after a couple of seconds, while the parts that really go for broke in terms of bombast (the latter half of the epic closer, for example) are so overdone and hammy that I can't believe they made it to tape. Also to the detriment of the album, though thankfully not appearing often, is the narration, which almost made me stop the first song within 10 seconds. Honestly, it's so dreadful and overdone that it will make infants cry - not because they are scared, but because even they can sense how terrible it is.

Considering that Dawn of Victory is a 50 minute album, give or take, giving it a rating is very easy. Basically, for every minute before you grow sick of the style the album gets 2%. For me, I start to lose interest towards the end of 'Dargor, Shadowlord of the Black Mountain' (some would get bored halfway through reading the title), though 'Holy Thunderforce' does make me prick my ears up again. I get the feeling that Dawn of Victory suffers more in this regard than other Rhapsody albums, since it is packed with more stuff and is generally sillier, so it's a blessing that it isn't as long as some of the others. This album is ideal for someone like my sister, who has no concept of cheese and a forgiving attention span - for most of us, it's too silly to actually enjoy as we really should.