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The Dawn of Consummation and Emergence - 0%

EvilAllen, November 1st, 2017

Oh, fantastic! What we have here are a bunch of misguided fellows in an apparent brutal and technical death metal band. What could be more fun than that? Yeah, you guessed it, not a damn thing. And would you like to know why? It's simply because the band are a bunch of tryhards who fail at making brutal music. It's fucking polished to the point where it sounds fake as can be. The type of fake you'd notice from listening to mainstream pop music bands, it's like hearing something on the radio in your pickup truck that sucks, you just want to turn the radio off or go one-hundred-miles-per-hour into a massive telephone poll and hope-to-God you pass away from graphic injuries, or be electrocuted to death.

Is there one-tiny-thing I can say positive about these apparent musicians and they're terrible gimmick? Probably not and I don't give a fuck. These guys are a fucking joke, they're a bigger joke than feeding an elephant peanuts for breakfast.

Their graphite-consumed guitars sounds fucking wretched and sounds like they can break at anytime. It's like crushing unsalted soda crackers into your tomato soup and having to brush the leftovers from your hands onto your new (or old, depending if you're poor or not) pants. You have these new-and-shiny-sounding drums, yet, it really appears to be an elastic band with plastic wrap with an empty, plastic jar you could probably buy at Wal-Mart or steal from your grandparent's house. They're probably deceased, too, so it really wouldn't matter. Bass, what bass? I can't even tell if there is a bass guitar or not. If it's there, it must be weak. You know how those silent farts sound? Yeah, I wouldn't know either.

The vocalist sounds like the female from White Empress, overly layered vocals and the polished atmosphere. It's like the damn album is too delicate to even become brutal. The riffs are terrible and bland. They sound like shit that's already been thrown together by other death metal bands, bands that aren't actually shit, though. Sure glad they didn't include lyrics to their music, could you imagine how worse it might have been? Realistically, a lot worse. I mean, you should probably place your hand onto a burning stovetop and scream, that's how bright these fellows are. The guy on vocals fucking fails at sounding like an authentic death metal vocalist. This trailer trash sounds like bad electronic metal, not brutal or technical death metal. The high-pitched, deathcore-themed, garbage-ass vocals cause a distraction from the other nonsense, too. It's a little hard to judge everything as a whole because of the crappy mixing. Maybe that's what one of the largest problems are though, the bad mixing? That's probably it, too.

I rather hear the traditional, oink, oink, oink, sounds that brutal death metal vocalists do. Not this fake-sounding demonic voice, used to sound like a PISSED OFF Darth Vader who has fucking breathing problems! This unprivileged fellow clearly needs a respirator, he's not breathing normally as it is. All this music was probably mixed and mastered using a stolen Mac laptop in their hideout. And I really hate Mac laptops. Was their dream to become successful in metal music? Ha! They sure didn't come close to it.

They do have semi-cool artwork for this shitty noise they call death metal. At least it's a start, probably a start of failure since that's where the band ended up at. The result in my blood pressure will cause me to drop dead from having to hear anymore of this torturous blasphemy. They also wear goofy fucking outfits and have shitty corpse paint designs on their...faces. Any idiot with one-percentage of skill can shred a guitar note-or-seven. How can anyone possibly relate any sense of emotion to this fake, plastic surgery music? It's like strangling a goddamn skeleton, all you'll do is break it's neck bone and become angrier because you wanted to boundlessly strangle something to relieve some stress from this nightmare. At least if you ended up digging the skeleton from below the ground during the midnight hours, you can always hope to be abducted by aliens, in order to keep as far away from this idiotic static as possible.

I don't think I can express as much hatred for this record as I currently am now. I cannot find any positive paths in this album. It's totally discomforting. How the fuck does Uncle Fester sleep on a bed of nails with no pillows? That's exactly what this hayseed shit appears to offer. Just utterly awful and unrealistic vibes in-and-out, over-and-over again. You know you're bad at constructing music when you think it's better than everyone else's. Guess who's in denial now? Fuck, why not send me into the woods with a flashlight at night with no batteries? That's a great idea, just ask these comrades!

Setting a high standard in music means, don't duplicate music like the these unfortunate musicians did here. I realistically can't see the band being proud of this disaster-warning? I feel so ashamed I can't even write their band name in my review, it's too horrible! Obviously anyone who rates this with a one-hundred-percent needs a physiatrist and an overdose on pill fragments. I wouldn't even let cancer itself suffer from such a long-ass treatment of absolute horseshit that came out of Mr. Ed's asshole. Readers, beware...you're in for the most-annoying adventure in metal ever... Well, maybe not the most-annoying, but it's definitely annoying in it's own right.