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Preteen Deathfuk > And Then There Was Nothing... > Reviews > NightTimeMoonshine
Preteen Deathfuk - And Then There Was Nothing...

Clichés ahoy! - 5%

NightTimeMoonshine, June 22nd, 2016
Written based on this version: 2016, CD, Hidden Marly Production

Come one, come all! We've got blastbeats! Pseudo-tough guy vocals! The same drum fills used over and over again! But wait, there's more! We've got a retarded name - Don’t worry though, you can't even read the logo! To stand out, we’ve even spelt a word incorrectly on purpose!

And Then There Was Nothing… is the latest release from the black metal slash crust punk band Preteen Deathfuk, a (what’s the opposite of supergroup?) band comprised of members of luminary acts such as the ridiculous Happy Days and even more ridiculous Secretly in Pain.

Let’s get things straight: This album sucks as a black metal album, but it’s even worse as a crust punk album.

The vocals are an attempt at crust punk but fall well short of the mark with the only saving grace coming from the high pitched attempts. The guitars comprise of power chords on a downtuned guitar that Kurt Cobain would find boring. The bass consists of nothing more than following the root note of the guitar chords. The drums are non-stop blast beats and medium paced double kicks sprinkled with beginner level drum fills that are repeated over and over and over again, including a snare that sounds like it tried to run away from the St Anger recording studio only to itself being tortured yet again.

The crust punk aspects here sound like Alice in Chains as 14 year olds, practicing with way too much gain on their amps whereas the “black metal” sections consist of Z-Grade Metallica rip-off riffs. Each song is made up of nearly the exact same patterns of these ingredients, so one’s ears become bored after one song alone, yet here we have 9.

The 5% goes to the recording of the drums, which other than the loudness of the bass drum and tinny-ness of the snare, sound good.

I’d tell these guys to stick to their day jobs, but that would mean yet another terrible Happy Days album. Perhaps there’s a reason this album was released on April Fools’ Day?

Avoid this garbage.