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This album makes self-decapitation sound appealing - 4%

Egregius, September 25th, 2003

I suddenly feel the terrible urge to warn people about this album. This is sonic torture. No not the Stalaggh-way, or kvlt black metal type sonic torture. No this is so much crap compressed into an aluminium disc, that they needed an extra sized digipack to carry it into your home.

And that's the first a desperate bid for attention, it comes in A5 digipack format, which is simply unwieldy and impractical, with no added value whatsover (still a small booklet) except to the sellers. There will be *no* collectors looking for this in 20 years!

Why? Because this is a horrid peace of crap, so much in that it has become fecality incarnate. That it's labeled symphonic black metal should have been the first warning sign. That it pretends to be a black metal album while the lyrical theme is that of a tragic lovestory was the second..

No wait, fuck that, why should you be buying an album from a band that can't even spell Necronomicon right in the first place?

Ho-hum, on to the ..'music'..
If I remember correctly (it's been a long time thankfully, since I submitted myself to this piece of ..ugh) the intro was a horribly corny synth intro, after which the real torture starts.

You can read along in the booklet, since it's a theme album about the 'Sightveiler'. Well it's a monster of some sorts.
The 'real' music begins: boring riff...more of the boring riff...more of it. And that's describing all instruments. I don't think they made the bass audible in the mix, but both guitars, and the drums, and the keyboards...they kept doing their boring riffs over and over with a standard progression/build-up you see coming miles away. It's not fast, it's not doomy, it just drags on and on and on and.. *shoots energizer bunny*.

But you know what? That's not the worst part. I can tolerate completely uninteresting notes strung together in an unoriginal, uncreative and boring way, even though the music whines and draws your attention like a cat scratching open your leg (ears).

No, the lyrics and the tracktitles are worse. The theme...words can't describe how horribly bland and uninspired it is. Ok, so it's about the Sightveiler who stalks the hero of the story and then shit happens, and the monster influences him to harm the girl he loves or something, but then love conquers it all. Or something like that. Ok the concept of a monster influencing the hero in a bad way isn't that bad. All creepy and mysterious. But why is it done so BADLY?!? Every 'plot-development' you can see coming 3 songs in advance. That love would conquer the monster was apparent as soon as the hero saw the girl and fell in love with her in like song 3 or 4. Hell, just looking at the cover of the album you know all you need to know: that it's going to be predictable. I'd give bonus points for the lyrics rhyming, if it weren't for the continual a.b.a.b-rhyming scheme and the fact that it only makes the entire thing even more predictable.
And what's with the horribly pretentious track-titles? Oh wait they fit the pretentious theme/lyrics perfectly. "Ooh let's make an exciting and mysterious story!" "Yeah! Too bad we can't write worth a crap!"

But wait, there's more. Yes, I saved worst for last. It's true that the music is less interesting than pc-fan-hiss to listen to. It's also true that the bandmembers display less talent on their instruments than pebbles stuck in my shoe do. And it's true that the theme and story were stillborn before the band got the idea to conceive the abomination.
But...nothing could ever match the suck-factor of the vocals. No, not even Fred Durst. And I'm being serious here!

The vocalist sounds like he's struggling with asthma as well as pretending to do black metal vocals for a band. He sounds so annoying doing his near-wheezy screams that you have to force yourself to listen to it, past the first 3 seconds of utter disbelief that someone like this wouldn't be kept out of a recording studio. On the other hand, the music and the lyrics are so boring that you get lulled to sleep, and you simply become a comatose zombie continually annoyed by the vocals. Just listening to the vocalist struggle with airflows through his throat sucks the air out of my lungs.

And to think I've seen this album get two reviews in the vein of 'Brilliant technical black metal!' in two seperate mail-order magazines..

The only thing this album has to do with black metal is that you get a urge to kill certain bandmembers.

Someone brought to my attention that I forgot that the band had 3 'vocalists'. It's true; there was also a grunter and a female clean vocalist. The female vocalist plays the love-interest in the story. It's obvious why she plays the love-interest for the asthma-vocalist: she can't sing worth crap either. And finally, there's the grunter doing the vocals for the Sightveiler. The sad thing is, he's the only one with even remotely impressive vocals (a decent guttural grunt), and it gets used so little.
After this album, only 2 bandmembers stayed while the rest left. Among the stayers were the grunter and the bassplayer. That should be a sign at least.