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I'd rather suck a fag than let the band pass this - 40%

Byrgan, November 28th, 2010

And I don't smoke!

First things first, this DVD doesn't have these raunchy bastards playing a live set, or where you'd actually hear the instruments in front of your eyes playing live. This televised session is Motorhead pulling a whiter, scruffier Milli Vanilli, miming their instruments to overdubs of "Ace of Spades," "Motorhead," and with those grown women from Girlschool playing "Please Don't Touch." And you better not Lemmy...because none of the lot are really worth it.

The song with Headgirl is a cover of Johnny Kidd & The Pirates, the British dress-up band with gimmick up their stripped sleeves. I'm not sure what an English pirate might want to raid, tea or toothpaste. Okay, that last one was a suggestion. Though Motorhead already pulled out a fun rock 'n' roll cover—with cowbell!—on "Louie, Louie." Let my people go No, not that one. This song has instrument cables, as the others, with the exception of Fast Eddie on "Ace of Spades," have them missing or even a wireless receiver. The movements are synchronized but at one point they're able to talk to each other, so there might only be a lower track playing in the background to mostly seated people; wimps. You get to see Philthy Animal sleazed out, with shabby stache and shades, appearing entirely dazed as he claps and back-up vocalizes while Denise Dufort drums and chews gum to boredom. Lemmy and Kelly Johnson actually liven it up by moving around a little more than I'm sure the original was intended. Fast Eddie looks uncomfortable enough to clear from the shared stage, and shortly he unfortunately would. In one way, the visual is interesting to see such a simple tune with an assortment of vocalists, two bassists, two guitarists and a drummer.

Motorhead still look fairly energetic performing a shadowing of "Ace of Spades," and somehow the small crowd stands 'round not knowing what to do with smoke from the fog machine covering more space than them. I can imagine in '81 the music being such a throwoff that they are mostly paralyzed by this open chested man with an iron cross necklace and a beard that's shaved at the chin, while this puffy haired drummer knocks around unreasonably all-red drums, and a British guitarist has strings hanging off his jacket like a cowboy'd wear. Maybe the crowd couldn't wait to high-tail it out of there, like they're a step shy of being in a rowdy bar with danger just a brewing. The song "Motorhead" is filmed similarly. Lemmy cocks his head back to ignore the clean-cut, clappers in front. The most interesting aspect is to see Taylor tear up his drum set by swinging his arms around and hitting them harder than the actual sound projects; it makes you want to hear this one live more and more. Towards the end he kicks over his kit as the drum track keeps going and the band aids in some minor destruction of the stage, and then a middle finger to seal the insubordinate deal. The collared crowd might have thought they were under siege by a couple of real life easy riders.

There's hardly any value here except to see the image of the band; that's what it's reduced to. You might ask what's the difference between this and a music video? Well, I'm going to ask and answer: both are lost tools towards an introduction to a band for purchase of a live ticket or their album. At least a music video is more honest though. This is a front for a live performance, except without the sound bites from one you're seeing. You might as well stare at a poster and spin the record, and with enough pints I'm sure it might start to animate itself. If you're a follower of Girlschool, this is a lost relic with Kelly Johnson, who's been laid to rest in an early grave. And Fast Eddie makes one of his last appearances. There's a pop-up feature with minimal facts, whoopty do. Even if you're on a massive obsessive-compulsive binge with the band, do unlike the Pokemon slogan, and convince an unsuspecting friend to buy it or find this dirt cheap. Check out "No Sleep 'til Hammersmith" for live material from that period.