...and the Wrist Is History

Welcome to the world of Mongo Ninja, where nothing is too nasty, no solo is too short, and there are no actual ninjas. Because, trust me, you can hear these guys coming from miles away. You can probably imagine what it would sound like with five Norwegians playing a mixture of punk and thrash metal as fast as they can, especially when the first song on the album is called something like 'Band Aid on Cancer' and the penultimate cut is 'My Cock Your Pain'. Yeah, it's fucking lively on ...And the Wrist Is History.

Blood Tsunami currently claims the lion's share of Mongo Ninja members (the band split in 2012), though vocalist Kristopher Schau is known for his time in The Cumshots, who aren't exactly an ensemble you would admit to liking on your first date. Despite Mongo Ninja's somewhat amusing name, their modus operandi is more about being abrasive as quickly as possible on this debut. The group's punk influence was much more apparent than on later releases, the guitarists zeroing in on a fast, chord-based style of riffing that uses a few of thrash's tricks without actually combining the two genres into crossover thrash. It simply sounds like punk with both feet on the gas, extra distortion, and guitar squeals that care not for hearing damage. Seeing that 'Turd World War' marks both the middle of the album and the first time that Mongo Ninja venture beyond two minutes, listeners should be aware that many of the songs are simply designed to make an impact without being particularly memorable, though the mid-point in question does boast a howl-along chorus ("Already started stopping loving you") and a boisterous riff right from the Blood Tsunami/Toxic Holocaust playbook. Calling ...And the Wrist Is History catchy is thus rather a judgement call despite longest cut 'Brother' ("If I ever wanted a brother / I'd kill my dad and fuck my mother") possessing actual melody and insistent hooks. Nevertheless, you are sure to catch an aural infection from listening to a song called 'Pissqueen of Oslo'.

What makes Mongo Ninja the real deal on their debut is the mixture of attitude and outlandish execution. Most of these men have spent careers trying to drag punk into extreme metal territories, Bård 'Faust' Eithun possibly the most notorious among them. On certain songs, his drumming barrage borders on blasting, while the catchier numbers ('Like Fuckin' on Meth' fits both meanings of the word) receive more of a D-beat treatment that drives the pace through the roof. As mentioned earlier, the guitars are there for simple riffs on both sides of the metal divide and only drop solos to make the experience more chaotic, while the vocals lurk at the grubby end of the black speed trend of late. The band's timing is impeccable, both in its deliberate accuracy and occasional sloppiness.

It's certainly possible that Mongo Ninja hit a slightly better stride with their follow-up album No Cunt for Old Men, though ...And the Wrist Is History does what only a 21 minute whirlwind can do and fucks shit up as completely as possible for the majority of its runtime. The incredibly pissed first half will set you up nicely for a more melodic and fun stint near the end, but you'll end up throwing stuff all over the place whichever song you're listening to. Low class quality.