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Metallica > Kill 'Em All > Reviews > Diesel 11
Metallica - Kill 'Em All

Bore 'Em All - 58%

Diesel 11, March 5th, 2019

I've got some reservations currently in writing this review. For one thing, it's kind of weird to know that you like an album less than every reviewer before you. People think very highly of this album, and why shouldn't they? Hell, I think highly of this album. I've got a tremendous amount of respect for what Kill 'Em All was able to do. It was one of the first thrash albums many people heard, it put Metallica at the forefront of a brand-new subgenre of metal that was attempting to play heavier and faster than the bands they were inspired by, and there's a lot of youthful energy on display here that is quite infectious. This is an important album in metal's history, to say the least, and for that, I give it all the credit in the world.

I just wish that it wasn't so boring.

The first reason for this, I've found, is that the album is simply too long for its own good. It's a little over fifty minutes in length and there's ten songs here, which seems kind of much for a debut album. If there was a little more variety on this record I could see it being viable. I love Master of Puppets, which has two songs less than this album, and yet eclipses Kill 'Em All in length by about three minutes. The difference, in my opinion, is that Master of Puppets is worth the length and this album isn't. All of the songs (with the exception of "Anesthesia") seem to be cut from the same sort of tree - raw, pumping, and rather frantic, without anything really interesting in the lyrics, which puts too much on the back of the music itself... and I really don't think most of the music is worth it.

The second issue for me is that the band's performances on the album aren't exactly stellar. Kirk would get better as a lead player with the next two albums, and Lars would become a better drummer in the years that followed as well. His performance on "Jump in the Fire", in particular, is lacking here. James's vocal performance is one of his worst, featuring way more shrieking than is necessary for the record. Cliff is pretty competent, but his only shining moment is on "Anesthesia", which is a pretty cool bass solo, although not exactly integral to the overall album.

Another issue I have with Kill 'Em All is the fact that the record is a bit front-loaded. The first three songs here - "Hit the Lights", "The Four Horsemen", and "Motorbreath" - are, quite honestly, pretty good for what they're trying to do. The first is a big, metallic opener that's a lot of fun, despite the weak lyrics and not quite perfect performance. The second is a classic Metallica song that remains one of their better tracks overall, comparing quite well to the rest of their discography. The third, meanwhile, remains their shortest song to date, which helps make it stand out, because it's quite a nice little ride overall.

Basically everything else on here ranges from either "okay" to "bland". "Whiplash" and "Phantom Lord" would both benefit from Metallica reining themselves in and focusing on their strengths, rather than trying to be metal for metal's sake. There's a lot of action going on, but they don't quite pull the vibe they're going for off. "Jump in the Fire", meanwhile, is a sort of recapturing of "Hit the Lights" but without the charm.

But perhaps the biggest issue with this album is that some of these songs are just long for long's sake. "The Four Horsemen" is the longest track here, but it's also the best because it has a good balance of riffs running throughout to keep up with the listener. The same can't be said for "No Remorse" and "Metal Militia", the first of which never seems to get out of second gear and yet lasts for over six minutes, and the latter has a needlessly repetitive chorus on top of boring riffs that don't go anywhere. Maybe it's just me, but I've never been a fan of lyrics that shout about how "metal" one is, and that song really takes the cake in this regard. If the music was more interesting I'd be more inclined to overlook the lyrics, but they aren't, and the overall experience is all the worse for it.

The worst song on the record, however, is "Seek & Destroy", which illustrates quite clearly what I dislike most about the album. It's nearly seven minutes long and yet it plods on like it's never getting anywhere, features a needlessly repetitive chorus, and has some pretty fucking bland lyrics to boot. What really bugs me is how much better the song could've been. Just check out the live version from the Seattle '89 concert to see what I mean - that one is fun, gripping, and pretty great as a whole, because it provides an interactive bit between the band and the audience. Whenever I want to listen to this song, I seek out that version.

That's honestly probably Kill 'Em All's biggest flaw overall. In the right setting, these songs can be fun. They all work well live, when you just wanna "rock out" and have some fun. But when I actually sit down and listen to music, I want something that can engage me a bit differently, something that's a bit tighter and more defined than just something I can bang my head to, unless the songs really fucking rock. And I don't get that from this album. Obviously other people do, and like I've said before, it's an important milestone in the genre's history, but it's not something I like enough to come back to that often. Metallica have made far better albums than this, and the few good songs here aren't worth the time spent going through the full thing. It's a bloated and boring affair that ranks as one of the worst records the band has ever put together.