Harder than Steel

Fun fact: The sixth track of Metal Sword's Harder Than Steel, 'Disco is Fuck', is a sentiment shared by Japanese thrash band Sabbat, who specified 'Baby, Disco is Fuck' in Headbangers Against Disco Vol. 1. Unfortunately, that fact is a lot more fun than the EP itself, which is as soulless as the world's most incompetent dybbuk.

I derive no joy whatsoever from emptying my bladder on an obscure band. Already they haven't achieved the stardom they were hoping for, so for me to waltz in and say their riffs are boring feels like squirting a lemon onto a hemorrhoid. But I'm afraid this lemon must be squeezed, for I value the time and money of my peers who may be enticed by such a promising obscurity as this, expecting Glacier's Ready for Battle or Grudge's Barbarians of the New Earth, only to be bitterly, bitterly disappointed.

The most preeminent difference between the aforementioned masterpieces and Harder Than Steel is energy. And personality. And better riffs. It's amazing how so little can be accomplished in tracks like 'Dying by the Sword'. A pair of scrawny speed metal riffs are tasked with propping up the entire song, with only a fleeting breakdown and generic solo as respite. I had initial plans to praise 'The Exorcist' for its intriguing, high-energy medieval leads that seemed to be forming the foundation of a promising epic metal track. But sadly, my optimism collapsed just as the structure did. Emerging from the rubble is band frontman 'Jay Jay the Fist', turning the whole thing into a sluggish power ballad less substantial than Angel Witch's Frontal Assault.

That isn't to say the entire album is boring - the galloping riffs in 'March For the Damned' were competent enough, and 'Take Off' is a passable slice of speed metal raunch, which is frankly hard to get wrong. The former is doubtlessly the most unique and ambitious track, boasting proactive bass and eclectic guitar leads that, with a bit of polish, might sound like something from Manilla Road's Mark of the Beast.

But overall, this is a paint-by-the-numbers approach to classic speed/power metal with a vaguely interesting palette. It's like if someone traced M. C. Escher's Relativity and then added cartoonish doodles of a knight suplexing a dragon over the top of it. As hard as Metal Sword claims to be, they sound softer than I am when I'm looking down from a high balcony.

Related (better) listening:
X-Caliber - Warriors of the Night
Loud Crowd - Guardians