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Underwhelming - 40%

DanielG06, February 23rd, 2021
Written based on this version: 2017, 12" vinyl, Back on Black (Limited edition, Reissue, Repress)

Ah, Deathcrush. The album that every 16 year old metalhead girl, or every 35 year old overweight unshaven metalhead man, praises to the death. This record gets so much love from every black metal fan and their mother, just because it was the first Mayhem record, therefore the first trve epic kvlt Norwegian blvck mvtvl record, yeah whatever. That doesn't excuse half of the ep for being pretty much TV static. The first 3 tracks are great, I'll say that. I gave this one 4/10, 1 point for its historical importance, 1 point for the title track as a whole, and 2 points for that fucking riff in Chainsaw Gutsfuck, easily the best black metal riff of all time, except for Hades by Bathory. Seriously, Euronymous barely knew how to plug his guitar into an amp yet he managed to come up with that groovy 5/4 piece of musical genius. Anyway, I'm going to emphasise more generally on what I like about this EP, or at least side A. The intro is an electronic piece, and I actually like it quite a lot, it sounds medieval and unhinged, acting as a great opener for a wild and insane EP. Then the title track starts, the main riff is quite good, but what I really love about this song is the chorus section, where Manheim's double bass explodes into a maniacal pattern and there's a rapid riff buried under Maniac wailing "DEATHCRUSHHHHHH". It's creepy and deranged and I love it. Chainsaw Gutsfuck is even better, as that genius riff dominates most of the track, and it fits perfectly with Necrobutcher's chainsaw bass and Maniac's disgusting shrieks, he really earned the role of "gutpuking". Anyways, side A of Deathcrush is pure black metal heaven. Unfortunately, that's where the good shit ends, and even more unfortunately, there's still 10 minutes left to go.

The cover of Venom's "Witching Hour" is fucking dreadful. I wasn't exaggerating when I cried TV static in the beginning of this review. You can hear the main riff just barely under the thick layer of fuzz. The song is also less than half the length of the original. Why? Why is the song so short? Why does it sound nothing like the original? Why is it even on the EP? Why did Mayhem even record this, and how did they think it was a good idea to publish it? The whole idea of music is that you can hear the music. Necrolust actually starts off promisingly, but then it all goes to shit. Back to the TV static. The EP then takes a break and slows down with Weird Manheim. Again, why? Why does this exist? This dumb third rate piano piece shouldn't be on any record, let alone a fucking black metal record, Jesus Christ. I understand that Mayhem were probably fucking around and had to fill out space on the album, but what's the point in even pressing an EP when an entire side is just the band fucking around? Why not just release Deathcrush and Chainsaw Gutsfuck as a single? The record finally puts itself to sleep with Pure Fucking Armageddon, which sounds fun at first, but of course it is once again TV static.

I'm sorry but I can't give this album a higher score when most of it is just terrible, as in literally musically incomprehensible, I cannot point out a single note on side B of this EP, except for the Weird Manheim song which sucks anyways. The production is completely awful, but at least the first 3 songs are actual songs, with actual riffs and actual structure. Although, I would like to hear side B of Deathcrush remixed so you can actually hear the notes, that would be quite cool. But for now, I'm staying far away from the majority of this album.