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Repulsive. - 4%

Lord_Of_Diamonds, May 14th, 2019
Written based on this version: 2015, Digital, Independent

The project "Mancubus" is named after a monster from id Software's infamous video game Doom. Said monster is a foul, overweight, lumbering abomination which smells repugnant and spews forth flaming streams of foul rotting flesh. You can see where I'm going with this. Given this description (for those who haven't played the game), the music of the project actually is quite well-described by the same adjectives as its namesake. Perhaps I should put "music" in quote marks, for none of what I just said, or what I am about to say, has any positive connotations.

So, Mancubuses (Mancubi?) are grossly overweight and all around horrid creatures. They have a "disgusting physical condition", according to game lore. This accounts for the musical elements presented on this EP. Pity the poor fools who would dare to listen to this stuff with any kind of bass booster. The low frequencies are boosted so strongly, you wonder how they can be that loud without being able to hear a shred of bass guitar. The boosted low frequencies turn the mix into mud, and go far beyond the bounds of good taste. It reminds one of the results you might get if you handed a slam metal track to one of those insufferable "Bass Boost" YouTube channels. I reckon the band probably hit at least five brown notes during the recording of this EP, and proceeded to sculpt the shit that they couldn't control the release of into something that resembled music.

Of course, the guitar parts are vapid trash made up of boring slams and two to three-note riffs with little to no syncopation or interesting rhythmic patterns. Not to mention the worthless ear-grating guitar tone. I looked up the project, and the guitars were recorded with Line6 Pod Farm, which explains everything tone-wise. The guitars blur into the mix with the insanely loud low end, thus making it difficult at times to hear what notes they're playing. Not that you'd want to hear the notes, because, like I already mentioned, the guitar riffs are boring slams and 3-note wonders consisting of unimaginative re-arrangings of the same three fucking notes (with a few more being added in for the last couple songs). Everything about the music tries so hard to be heavy and br00tle, but comes off as just being disgusting to the human ear and grossly overweight with low end. Like a Mancubus.

The drums (programmed in EZdrummer with a hyper-compressed version of the default sound library) are just as unimaginative, if not more so, than the guitars. Boring double kick lines, a St. Anger snare, breakdowns and almost non-existent fills dominate. Of course, this being a drum-programming-only effort, the drum track has its fair share of card-in-the-bicycle-spokes "double kicking". It's abhorrent to the fucking ear, not to mention way too machine-like and so brutal wanna-be, it's not even funny. The final half-minute of the final track should give you a pretty good idea of what I'm talking about. The "drum" track literally does nothing for the "music". It simply sits there, like an effort excreted forth by someone who had been programming drums for a total of one week. It lumbers along with no purpose except to kill your ears. Oh yeah, one more thing. The tempo barely fucking changes. The EP pretty much stays at one tempo the whole way through, alternating every other few bars between half-time, double-time, or some variant of the two.

This being slam metal (or brutal death metal, I see absolutely no difference between the two), the classic deathcore "reeeee"s and "rooooollll"s are here to serve as a pathetic excuse for "brutal vocals". The vocalist spews forth flaming barrages of this vomit (that's what it sounds like), not unlike the Mancubus's tendency to spew forth flaming barrages of rotten shit at anyone who ventures too close. We've heard these vocals a million times before, and they're probably pumped full of effects, too. Worthless and devoid of musical aesthetic. I wish I could criticize the lyrics, too, but I can't, because guess what? There are no fucking lyrics. "Wait," you might wonder. "How can there be vocals, but no lyrics?" Well, it would seem that the vocalist doesn't even care about lyrics; he just grunts at random intervals and occasionally mixes in vocal samples (don't ask). The vocals here aren't br00tle. They're cheezy and laughable. Actually, the vocals are the only thing that saves this EP from getting a flat zero from me, because they're so fucking hilarious.

This EP is the kind of br00tle wanna-be trash that would be hailed by newer generations as "sick", "heavy as fuck", etc.. The truth is, it's neither of those things. It's trying to make an impression, and might seem intimidating at first sight, but it's easily cast aside as an overweight, slow, foul, lumbering piece of shit that has a massive weak spot. Again, I make a dumb, ill-conceived comparison to the Mancubus monster. Sorry about all those, by the way. I think I still got my point across, did I not? Anyway, in case you can't defeat this Mancubus on your own and it leaves your ears ringing, get a good weapon to blow it away with, like some Deicide. If you value your me(n)tal health at all, avoid this EP.