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Pretty Goddamn Awful - 40%

orionmetalhead, September 13th, 2018
Written based on this version: 2018, Digital, Junko Johnson Records

Though well-produced and competently executed, Lords of the Trident's most recently released album, Shadows From The Past, is awash in too-cheesy-even-for-cheesy moments and a lack of aggressiveness and power that steer me away from ever listening to the record or band again. Without pinpointing individual details in nearly every song, there are standout issues that I can't wrap my ears around. This ultra-polished style of modern heavy metal simply squashes any potential raw aggression and energy that can be generated via the production. Lords of the Trident sound not far from many European flower metal bands. Picture Hammerfall or Edguy or whoever but remove all the balls (Hammerfall had some on Legacy of Kings and slowly lost theirs also) and all the hooks.

The single from the album, opening track "Death Dealer" is an example of this. Regardless of the lack of interesting riffs which are barren across the entire release, the pitter-patter of Master Hercule Schlagzeuger's drums, though technically accurate, has as much substance as air, a general production fault that bothers throughout the album. This when paired with a generally thin guitar tone from Asian Metal and Baron Taurean Helleshaar just falls flat. Often, guitar solos are found without any solid backing riffs to drive the songs through as evidenced by the solos in, once again, "Death Dealer", as well as "Burn It Down" - another pushed single for the album. Fang VonWrathenstein's vocals are wispy and only shine when he manages to fall into a catchy melody. At times he shows he has great range, but the lyrical content is childish, even for power metal.

In terms of stand out tracks, I have to point out the absolutely horrid "Brothers of Cain" which is the most obnoxious of the songs on the album as Fang does his best impression of Beauty and the Beast's Gaston. The majority of the track's vocals are sung like the Irish Drinking Song on Whose Line Is It Anyway. The only worthwhile tracks here for me are "Zero Hour" and "Chasing Shadows," mainly because they contain strong vocal melodies. "Chasing Shadows" is my personal choice for noteworthy track. The melodic foundation is compelling here, even if all the other weaknesses in power show through. This is a prime example of too much attention to perfection and too little attention given to simply rocking out in full force.There are far superior heavy metal albums to explore. Also the band looks fucking asinine. Don't waste your time on this.