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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz - 28%

The_Ghoul, November 23rd, 2008

Petrucci: Hey, Mike, I don't think Dream Theater showcases our immense and godlike talent we have in the field of music, wouldn't you say?

Portnoy: I would say, and how about we make a band without any singing so we can have the whole song to show off our talents?

Petrucci: HELL YEAH! Let's make it even more technical than Dream Theater. Forget about writing good songs, let's just show off for the whole song, people will love it, they love us, they can't get enough of our playing.

Portnoy: That is a good idea. What keyboardist are we gonna use? Moore and Sherinian do that thing that bugs me, what is it... OH YEAH! They use melody. Fuck that.

Petrucci: Yeah, we need a keyboardist who can match our godly talent with some solos of his own and who won't bug us with insisting that we use melody in our music.

Portnoy: And John Myung, bless his heart, but he's too much of a wallflower for this.

Petrucci: John who?

Portnoy: Exactly. Let's bring in somebody who is famous who will get us even more adoring fans and, more importantly, more MONEY!

Petrucci: I KNOW! Tony Levin, from King Crimson. Everybody loves KC, don't they?

Portnoy: They certainly do. This is great, now we won't have to pay attention to such annoying things as coherence and listenability and we can just shred away to our heart's delight and everybody will get the orgasmic pleasure of hearing us shred.

And that sums up LTE. Imagine Dream Theater, but even more pretentious, overtechnical, and stupid. Yes, it's possible, and here it is, with all its soulless, mindless, and fake as plastic splendour. If you fellate Petrucci at every turn, you'll love this. If you like listening to actual music, you'll hate this. And yes, I listen to instrumental prog music, so I'm not hating on the genre. I'm hating on the people in LTE (except Tony Levin. He's innocent) who seem to think that they're God's gift to humanity. Fuck John Petrucci, for all his technical talent, he seems to have a hard time writing anything worthwhile.

Avoid this and get Dream Theater's new stuff instead. They're both crap, but at least Octavarium and Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence are a bit more subtle in their wankery and there Petrucci and co. at least TRY to make a tune worth listening to. Don't bother with LTE, aside from the technicality it's worthless.