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Lacuna Park? - 25%

FagsAreGay, June 30th, 2005

From the first listen to Comalies, boredom sets in like a ton of bricks, especially because everything other than the first 3 tracks sounds exactly like every other song before it. Indeed, there is a new Lacuna Coil on this release, and very apparent in their new formula which they seemed to have borrowed from N'Sync.

The music is methodical in that everything is so monotonous from the start that even first time listeners can predict the rest of the album without the gift of foresight. The drummer basically plays simplistic beats which, once heard in the first few seconds of a song (as you might have guessed) will be repeatedly played the entire song with no fills, tempo changes, or basically anything special other than the fact that his drumkit sounds particularly good, even without a polished drummer on the throne.

Guitarwork is very lousy and completely unispiring, basically comprised of rather slowly-played power chords on distortion. Often when the two guitarists are not playing the typical power chords they do every song, they are playing some meaningless one-stringed riff with effects like reverb and delay to back them up. No doubt, they must have gotten their inspiration from the guitarist of Linkin Park (even then, at least the sole guitarist from LP can face-off against the two from LC).

The keyboards are catchy, yet nothing special as they are just fillers for the empty sound the guitars produce (or don't produce).

Cristina's vocals are decent, yet they lack so much substance and pitch that she falls short of helping the music sound any good. Still, she is the only one worthy of being in this franchise band, as she really is the only one with talent. Comalies proves this point even though she could have done something more.

Unfortunately, she doesn't sing enough. Her pleasant vocals are often subdued by a horrible-sounding male vocalist who must have gotten lessons from some cheesy nu-metal band. What makes matters worse is that his vocals are so loud and obnoxious, and there is no letting up.

How this album ever took off is a miracle by the advertisers responsible from Century Media. Or was it, perhaps, that Cristina is posing in some erotic fashion in every picture available that this album sold as many as it did? Certainly, it could not have been the terrible make-up and "80's wave" hairstyles of the male bandmembers themselves.

Truly, this album is a joke in the face of metal and could have easily been produced and distributed by any American pop label.