Csejte Vára...

I was walking to my friend's house a couple days ago and my phone's music playlist was on shuffle. Suddenly, Hellhammer's song "Massacra" came on and I gave it a shot because I haven't listened to it in ages. As the middle section came on, it featured a constant d-beat, accompanied by a one/two note tremolo riff and a raw production. I was shocked. And why is that you ask?

Because Cunt fucking Orlok's entire musical career is based on those few minutes alone. I shit you not.

Except for the ever-so-slight lyrical and overall aesthetics (hey look! Instead of fake Norwegian he now uses fake Hungarian! How KVLTASTIC!) and borrowed album covers, his music is based on the same section of Hellhammer's song, but instead of sounding raw, grimy and overall badass it sounds so weak and fake that it makes Emmure sound like Demilich compared to him in terms of musical complexity. This entire damn song (16 minutes in a row of Count Orlok? oh boy) is based on one riff, drum beat, and the shitty vocals and production that characterizes Count Orlok's entire musical history. Even the lyrics here suck. They're based on a very unclear "edgy" theme which provides some very laughable moments, such as:

"Drink the keys of forever" (How can one exactly drink a key? This sucks, even as a metaphor)
"And the crying winds howling my name." (The only thing that will ever howl Cunt Orlok's name apparently)

This EP/song goes NOWHERE in terms of content, because of the misused and overused repetition in the song. As said before, repetitive black metal isn't a bad thing at all, but only when used correctly- this guy here thinks he's Roman Saenko or Varg Vikernes in terms of creativity. Guess what. He isn't. In fact, I could've just posted my previous Cunt Orlok "side projects" reviews and they will still describe the music perfectly, but with a few aesthetic-relate changes only. I never thought that black metal would've ever gotten this bland and boring. Humanity will benefit from this slab of utter crap only if it would've evaporated off the face of the earth.

A 0% is a much higher score than this truly deserves, because this shit deserves nothing. Nothing, like the effort, passion, or credibility of this "sonic" torment. Avoid this.