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About As Bad As A Blowjob From Natalie Portman. - 89%

Metal_Jaw, July 2nd, 2013

I'd like to dedicate the song "Absolute Misanthropy" to the haters of this album. I cannot, for the life of every DNA strand in my 5' 10" fleshy husk, understand the utterly revolting and unwarranted dislike for Kreator's 12th studio effort, "Hordes of Chaos". This album was their first in any years to be recorded live in the studio, leading many very stupidly to hope for another "Pleasure to Kill" for some dumb reason. The result was a very, VERY strong followup of the melody-infused, riff-happy technical thrash they've been doing since "Terrible Certainty". The aggression, brutality, riffs, attitude, not to mention a raw, REAL production job, all there, and people bitch and whine about a good thing. Fuck the fuckers who don't know a good thing when they hear it, and no they're never gonna make another "Pleasure To Kill" so shut up!

Anyway, the band is on fire here, still riding the high of aggression heard in spades on the oh so slightly inferior "Enemy of God". Mille Petrozza's rhythm guitar works are just vicious, and the tone is gnarly and fearsome. Then his vocals...wow, did someone tow his car before he recorded, 'cause he is still fucking angry! Mille still has that rough, scratchy angry in his voice and he's not afraid to use it! Sami Yli-Sirniƶ still makes for a hell of a lead man, even if (I think personally) his solos run together a bit. Still at least the guitar tone tone is an improvement, a far cry from the wimpy sound it had back on something like "Violent Revolution". Bass has rarely been a major playing factor with Kreator, and that changes not for Christian Giesler, whose work still remains basically invisible. The sound of the album is given its full, rounded-out ferocity thanks to Ventor, whose dynamic, ripping double bass is still top of the line and still as strong as Mille's vox even after all these years.

Wrapped up in a natural-sounding, raw production, "Hordes of Chaos" cooks from beginning to end. There's a cantankerous, vicious vibe of energy from each song, even I want to pick just two that don't pop as well. "Amok Run" is cursed with something of an odd alternative/industrial intro before starting to get going. But even still it's not to engaging, especially the boring, repetitive chorus. "To The Afterborn" retains the energy, but offers little of interest in the way of riffs or even a good solo. Oh, and the interlude "Corpse of Liberty" is fucking useless; I hate interludes.

But every, and I mean EVERY other song grabs me by the nads and chucks me against a rusted metal wall over and over as I beg for more! The title track and the closer, "Demon Prince", infuse the group's new-found sense of melody with a series of memorable, crushing riffs and a series of wicked tempo shifts; the title track has a particularly cool chorus you just wanna scream from the top of your local church. You know, just for kicks. A series of shorter bloodthirsty cookers permeate the running time as well, like the charging, guitar-crazy "Escalation" and spitfire killer "Absolute Misanthropy". Elements of the more modern-sounding "Warcurse" and the stomping "Destroy What Destroys You" bring in more mid-paced aesthetics.

Overall, there's little to nothing wrong with this album. Just because it's a little melodic (it helps the music to be more memorable fuckhead!) and it's not "Pleasure To Kill" again apparently means it's modern throwaway garbage from a band trying to stay relevant. Yeah right. I've even heard so-called metal fans trashing the production for fuck's sakes! Just don't listen to the haters; Kreator has done right once more. From the still youthful aggression to the sweet production to the ripping riffs and choruses, "Hordes of Chaos" is well done modern thrash. Listen well, and listen for yourself.