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No Spike in This Pulse - 15%

GuntherTheUndying, May 1st, 2008

I’m honestly flattered when Kreator dishes out crucifying thrash, and I also think watching live DVDs are fun, so what would ever inhibit these two things from working together in an enjoyable fashion? Let’s make it easy for our slower readers: try mixing terrible performances, quality that pisses on your senses, bare-bone extras, and over two hours of wasted time into one shit-filled package that’ll make Kreator fans wish they never even considered coughing up money in the first place. Basically, this release sucks more than any live video I’ve seen, and there’s little doubt it shall ever be dethroned from that disgraceful position. Ten out of ten physicians agree: Kreator’s pulse during “At The Pulse of Kapitulation” is flatter than a pancake.

Once our attention is finally focused in, Kreator’s miserable show originally caught on the “Live in East Berlin” VHS shows exactly why it was, and still is, a mistake. For one, the audio and visual quality is vaguely mediocre, often times appearing foggy or lagging; now imagine such ugly features balancing an entire show for over seventy minutes. Also, where are the cameras? I can see three different perspectives at most – showing Jürgen Reil’s percussion, Mille Petrozza’s microphone, and an occasional audience shot – all bringing on the same scenes again and again. It’s like everything was caught with piss-poor equipment from the early 1990s. Oh wait…

When it comes to the overall energy of the performance, Kreator is soulless. All four members stand still like frozen statues with their heads lightly bobbing again and again until the show finally finishes. I know that’s quite a bold thing to say considering the concert’s legacy, but watching Jürgen Reil piss out the most uninspired drum solo I’ve ever seen was when his minimal passion crushed my (remaining) moral; everyone else follows his pathetic attitude like mindless zombies. They do, however, occasionally pitch curve balls by taking a few steps across stage every three songs or so, but still not soil-your-pants worthy like Kreator is known for. Is there anything that doesn’t suck? Watching Mille Petrozza speak to the audience, mainly because his German narration is an identical copy of his singing voice, and it’s kind of funny when you see how alike they are. But yea, it’s shit beside that.

Finally, we have the infamous “horror movie” entitled “Hallucinative Comas,” which sounds interesting, but I’m still left wondering what the fuck it is. Picture multiple music videos with Kreator (yea, ok!) and some bald douche bag glimpsing through gory pictures, and presto! You got “Hallucinative Comas!” After four songs of that shit, the antagonist (at least I think so) decides to slaughter a random babe with a hook while our German buddies still rock out in the background, making it the one piece of awesomeness in sight. Unfortunately, that little pocket glorifying random murder and boring thrash quickly dies within time, and soon enough, empty videos just keep on coming. I do think the title is fitting, mainly because REM cycles had raped my mind beyond measure when it finally finished. Thanks Kreator, for inducing one hallucinative (that’s not even a word, you twits) coma after another!

I find this set’s moniker rather humorous, because Kreator’s pulse slowly loses its spike from powerless performances, pseudo-films, and crappy extras not even worthy of dirt; it does, however, excel at collecting dust, and can also provide good blunt force if needed. When analyzing a DVD release, anyone can typically find something good, but “At The Pulse of Kapitulation” is a special case lacking substance in all areas, even when boldly attempting things like a horror movie; it’s really too bad. The white sheets haven been placed over Kreator’s disgraceful effort, and all I can do is suggest you avoid this pompous abomination like a horde of gremlins trucking toward your asshole.

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