No Presents for Christmas

Sometimes someone tells a joke that you would least expect. At the end of 1985, even King Diamond felt called to do so. So he briefly left his ghosts and other supernatural apparitions alone and published “No Presents for Christmas”. The lyrics about Donald Duck as well as Tom and Jerry (drinking Sherry) were pretty stupid. That’s how it always goes when someone tells a joke who has other competences. Apart from the lyrical nonsense, the musical mockery of Christmas leaves a solid impact. The title track does not have much in common with the complex tracks of his former band, but it scores with drive and catchiness. Some elements, especially the integration of “Jingle Bells” and “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”, are superfluous, but the metallic main part of the song works well.

King was the main force behind the split of Mercyful Fate. “The name King Diamond was much more often in the headlines than Mercyful Fate” was one of his dubious and pretty egocentric explanations. Time has told us that the change of the moniker alone does not revitalize the cult factor and his solo project stood always in the shadow of “Melissa” and “Don’t Break the Oath”, at least from my point of view. Even very good tracks like the one on the B side, “Charon” could not change this situation. The song lives from its profound, effective riffing. It's a true heavy metal number, stoically marching and equipped with a fantastic chorus, a cool solo and demonic (partly falsetto) vocals. Just enjoy the scream at the beginning. Really a strong tune, but “Curse of the Pharaohs” o4 “The Oath” played in a higher league.

The EP is properly produced and in view of its good material, it marked a thin, but pretty promising start for King Diamond. And indeed, the debut “The Portrait” did not disappoint. Nevertheless, the magic of the first Mercyful Fate albums was lost. Forever. Even the legions of ghosts in King’s house (or in his mind) could not bring it back.

This is odd...King Diamond writing a Christmas song. It's heavy and funny at the same time. It starts of with Jingle Bells then at 00:18, King Diamond's evil laugh shows up and and a speedy riff, solo and double bass follow. The lyrics...well I ain't gonna lie...they're cheesy as hell. No Presents For Christmas has some solid music, good drumming and good solos. I think this song was ended very well, too. The singing is the typical falsetto wail we've come to expect from King Diamond. Overall this is a good, if silly, song.

Charon starts with another one of King Diamond's trademark shrieks and then goes in to a cool riff, which is probably the best part of the whole song. King Diamond uses his voice to good effect on this song, and his lyrics are pretty haunting The drumming is pretty standard back beat stuff, nothing to really write home about. The solos are pretty cool, but nothing too spectacular. Overall this is a solid song.

Released exactly 18 years ago today (12/25/3), this song is still a very metal holiday favorite. Though this song was created out of a joke about a riff sounding like a Christmas song, it developed into a classic that King Diamond is known to still play to this day, often with the band in Santa Claus suits, at the end of his concerts.

The beginning of the song goes from Jingle Bells to King Diamond's trademark evil laugh. The lyrics to this song are completely nonsensical and hilarious -- Santa Claus can't find his evil list and something's gone wrong, as there's no presents under the Xmas trees, and cartoon characters are present. The unique sound is that which launched King Diamond's solo career, built upon the groundwork of Mercyful Fate and featuring the amazing Andy LaRocque. Aggressive, headbanging speed metal builds up to the hilarious chorus pertaining to the concept of a Christmas gone horribly awry. A Mercyful Fate styled solo section leads to an headbanging peak to the song, and a re-iteration of the chorus winds down the song with a twisted and twangy playing of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and a final evil laugh and brief instrumental conclusion. All members of the band stand out, as usual -- however, it's a bit repetitive after a few listens, and it's mostly good for the holidays, as it would otherwise be a bit unusual.

Though I also got this on the Fatal Portrait reissue, Charon is a cool song and a good bonus for the EP. It's a darker, more haunting song that pays tribute to the myth of Charon, the boatman of the river Styx. As usual, it features excellent ghostly lyrics, killer riffs, excellent guitar solos, and top-notch drumming tied together with good production -- what more can I say? You can't go wrong with it.

The single that launched the solo career of the King, and what a great one it is. A cool mix of holiday tunes and killer speed metal, an essential head banger's delight. Andy LaRocque's guitar work isn't all that phenominal on this song, just your traditional speed metal riffs and licks. One main highlight though is the INCREDIBLE drumming of Mikkey Dee, one of metal's best (if not the best) drummers! Basically, all this song really is, is blazing fast speed metal with shrieking falsettos and holiday melodies. Pretty damn unique. The other song that's featured on here is 'Charon', which I will elaborate more on when I do my 'Fatal Portrait' review.