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RAPE - 5%

Empyreal, October 29th, 2007

Well this is exactly what I thought it'd be. Killswitch Engage, being the infamously bad metalcore band they are, need no introduction at all. This is a single cover of Ronnie James Dio's classic "Holy Diver," and as expected, it sucks massive elephant testes.

To be fair to the band, they didn't just rehash the original "Holy Diver" song, as that would be boring. However, they did not do it justice at all, rather brutally mutilating it and tearing it to shreds, leaving its tattered remains on the damp, cold pavement of some slummy back alleyway, probably behind a 7-11 that was just waiting to be robbed at the same time. This is a shorter and more pugilistic song than the original, and it doesn't waste much time or try to deceive you - this is metalcore, folks, right to the very core (with the emphasis on core, yes). We have macho-man heavy downtuned guitar riffs chugging away like two rabbits making love, and a lack of that special something that made the original so cool (most likely due to the uber-modern production) as all of you no doubt expected before you even heard one note. But the real clincher comes next, as we have a really fucking awful moshy sort of breakdown that just sends the whole thing to Hell in a white lace handbasket, complete with shitty harsh vocals and stop-start riffage that could've come out of any of the band's other songs. I could bitch a lot about how the band could've at least kept it metal, or about how much of a travesty it is that they did this, but I'm being realistic here...it's Killswitch Engage, and that's all that needs to be said. What did you expect?

I would definitely give this a 0%, as it's certainly infuriating enough, but it gets a few points because the clean vocals here are really quite good, and it shows what he could do if he ditched this lame band and joined a real metal band instead. Howard Jones's voice is clear and powerful, a driving force, with a slight bit of "bounce" that manages to elevate him a lot higher than an average mallcore vocalist. Seriously, he's really good, at least until he starts screaming. Sigh.

Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.