The Torture Never Stops

I think we can all agree that the Germans are gods when it comes to thrash. Vendetta, Deathrow, Paradox, Angel Dust, and Sieges Even are just some examples of amazing bands we have seen come from Germany. There was one band however that virtually NOBODY has heard of that hail from Germany. That band is speed metal/thrash act Kalaschnikov. The band played traditional speed metal/thrash but they played it in a unique way. The band released their debut and only official record in 1988 titled "The Torture Never Stops" on the label Metal Enterprises. The second album doesn't count since that was basically different session musicians that used the Kalaschnikov name. Let's take a look at this forgotten classic...

The record begins with "Devil's Yo Hero", which has some awesome riffs and strong vocals. Bassist/vocalist Patrice "T-Bass" Jones is one of the most unique vocalists in thrash in my opinion. He has a very distinct vocal style and his performance here is excellent. Guitarist Simon Simonson is a really good riff writer. His solos aren't really anything to write home about, but they're still really good. I can't seem to find information regarding who did the drum tracks but who ever did is pretty decent, again nothing insane but pretty good. Now let's discuss some of the tracks...

"The Haunted House" starts off slow and sort of like a ballad before the heavy riffs come in. It is a great song and has that "classic" speed metal sound to it. It is a really good follow up to "Devil's Yo Hero". This is an awesome track! "Rockin' By The Graveyard" is another killer track, the vocals and music blend together very well. "Kill Your Neighbor" is the classic here. The lyrics are extremely memorable, like these lines for example...

"Kill your neighbor - I do confess
Beat him down into a mess
Drink his blood and take his soul
Eat his heart and never let go!"

Simple but effective lyrics, it fits rather well. I gotta say however the A side is the best, Side B is okay but definitely pales in comparison to Side A. Now while the music is really good, I have one compliant about this record...

THE ATROCIOUS PRODUCTION!!! Not to take away from the musical content of this album, but the production makes this hard to listen to at times. The production is probably the worst I've heard on an album in my life. The reason it's so bad is that the sound is hollow. The music is hard to hear, it sounds like it was recorded from a mile away. If this album had better production, then it would of received a 95% rating. Due to the piss poor production job however, the score ultimately drops to 81%.

So overall, this album is a forgotten gem. It was only released on vinyl, which is a shame considering the fact that this album could EASILY benefit from a remaster and a re-release on CD. If this album were to be remastered and reissued on CD, then it would sound amazing. We can only hope and pray that this album gets the proper remaster treatment it truly deserves. I recommend this to fans of Grinder, Hirax, Aragon, Gothic Slam, and Indestroy.

Highlights: "Devil's Yo Hero", "The Haunted House", "Rockin By The Graveyard", and "Kill Your Neighbor"

Retro Review: Kalaschnikov - “The Torture never Stops” (1988)


Released by the infamously bad 'Metal Enterprises" label back in 1988, it's unclear whether this band was ever real or not, since the first album only contained two people that handled three instruments (the drummer was uncredited to my knowledge) and the follow-up was a completely different band used by the label to cash in on the name. The least they could do is spell the name they took correctly...

As for the music, it's simple but competently played metal sits somewhere between standard pacing and speed metal, residing in that same corner of the metal world as bands along the lines of Piledriver. In fact, this band is most comparable to the aforementioned artist with it's gimmicky lyrics, lowbrow delivery, and suffocatingly thick layers of faux-extremity. Some can almost compare the lyrics here to those used by Carnivore, Death SS, or Nasty Savage, except even more obvious and with less wit in their delivery. Perhaps the most glaring misgiving of all is the fact that the guitar solos here are essentially just random scratching that go nowhere, like a version of what Kerry King does, but with even less direction and minus the eerie shrieking qualities of the tremolo. It's somewhat odd, because the sole guitarist seems able to deliver solid, if mildly repetitive riffs as the backbone of each song.

One can almost see this as a cash-in too, even if the album succeeding it is known to be, since the both the music and lyrics are "dumbed-down" as to be accessible to those not attuned to listening to metal, like your typical shock or glam/hair metal record. Honestly, it is played well enough to be enjoyed for a chuckle here or there, and the musicians playing here can handle themselves (even if the solos suck more than a Dyson), but outside of the superficiality this release primarily contains, there is nothing noteworthy. It's a shame too, since Kalaschnikov actually had the distinction of being one of a few bands having a person of color as a front man, at least in it's first incarnation, which was something of a rarity at a time when “heavy music” was viewed by the mainstream as being predominantly played by Whites. Obviously, such a shallow attempt at making metal that is mediocre at best and having underwhelming vocal deliveries of insipid shock lyrics does no justice to the erstwhile stated fact.

In summary, this novelty record remains only for the curious, or those particularly interested in the bad and often imposter-ridden roster of artists found on Metal Enterprises. If this indeed was a cash-in record, it is by far one of the unintentionally better ones, which would make the follow up a cash-in on a cash-in. Wrapping one's head around that logic would be enough to induce an embolism. Listen with caution, prepare to laugh, and maybe even use a scare tactic for an undesired neighbor. (4/10)