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In which Goathemy discovers that they have talent. - 94%

PseudoGoatKill, October 4th, 2004

Where last we left off Goathman had decided to return to his roots by making an incredible kvlt album. With the aid of his band mates they created a remarkably uncreative CD that would beg the question, what the fuck were these guys smoking when they released this shit?


The band sits around discussing plans for a new CD. They have also read the reviews for "Under the Sign of Black Cover."

Goath: It seems no one liked our cover EP. Heil!!
Dark: Umm Goath, usually when an EP did not do well, we do not say Heil!!
Mr. Thing: I can't believe I took a break from Entrophia to help you with this shit of an EP. So much of my talent has gone to waste.
Goath: Shut up.
Ghost: It would have helped if we had a bass player.
Dark: And some originality.
Mr. Thing: According to some of these reviews, it sais we are lacking emotion.
Goath: Our emotions are so cold!
Dark: Cold? For Lucifer's sake, Goath, it sounds like we're dead.
Ghost: Yeah, even Dead from Mayhem had more emotional value than us.
Goath: Fine! We'll put "real" emotions into our next album. First we need to find a bass player, then write the songs.

And so it would happen that they would recruit Bargor as their bass player. Then they started to record their new EP. It was becoming apparent that the band had taken the criticisms quite well. Goath and Mr. Thing played their guitars with a style that although wasn't entirely their own proved that they could play with the best of them. They also proved that they could switch from thrash oriented black metal riffs to slower, melodic riffs on the fly.

Even more amazing was the fact that Ghost could play the drums with an artillery speed, and amazing accuracy. The drumming style and pattern would often follow an insanely fast beat in 4/4 time that would remind people of the military going into battle. Of course he was also able to switch to other drumming patterns. In the song "Rebellion Morningstar" Ghost used a 3/4 drumming pattern. Other times he would use a more melodic rhythm.

Goath: I didn't know you could play drums.
Ghost: -_- Fuck you.

The bass playing by Bargor though wasn't too much to brag about. It seemed that his main purpose was to add a softer, more melodic feeling to the songs. It also sounded as if though he followed the guitars, so there was nothing incredibly awesome in his playing.

The moment of trial had come. Would Goath and Dark be able to muster up enough emotions so that way they wouldn't sound dead? (No pun intended.) After waiting for a very long time a miracle had happened! Goath had put emotions into his singing, and so had Dark. Goathman would handle the black metal style raspy vocals, occasionally going into a clean melodic vocal set. He used the latter a lot on the song "Opus Funerale inc. My Last Words." It would be Dark that would be the melodic base for this band. Not once did her vocals shift from melodic to distorted. Of course her voice range wasn't anything to brag about as she could only stay in the alto range. What she lacked in vocal range, she made up for in raw, unadulterate emotions.

At long last the EP had been released. At this time Goathemy was so happy that they would skip around and hug each other. Wait, no, that doesn't sound right. Scratch that; instead they rejoiced but in a way black metal bands do.

If you are looking for a black metal band to check out that is not entirely fan boy based, or completely untroo then give Goathemy's "Year 666" a shot. You won't be disappointed.

Stand out track "Cursing the Venomous Waters."