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Laughing at porn - 70%

gasmask_colostomy, December 7th, 2017

Looking at the pseudonyms of bandmembers is occasionally an interesting and revealing experience. For Funeral Rape, guitarist Cuntripper and bassist Assmasher, who share vocal duties on A Chainsaw in the Cunt, clearly got the memo that the band would be playing porngrind, while drummer Lord Funeral perhaps thought that he had worked his way into a black metal band. He deals with the disappointment pretty well, smashing and clattering his way through the 21 songs of deathgrind like blasting and cymbal strikes are going out of fashion, proving himself the most capable member of the three-piece Italian unit (who would probably enjoy being called an Italian unit. Groan...)

Having listened to the group’s later albums, it’s somewhat of a surprise to me that A Chainsaw in the Cunt is actually a catchier affair than all but the stalwart Sperm Overdose, featuring shorter songs that make good on their insignificant lengths (as the first track mentions - metaphorically - in its sample) by riffing up the ante and switching rhythms about as quickly as possible in order to provide space for vocal hooks, which are occasionally audible. I’m most keen on the death metal tone to the guitar, which makes the riffs come across harder and less punky than many grindcore outfits, the stop-start likes of ‘I Fuck on Your Grave’ proving very effective at mashing the listener’s ears in a fun way, while ‘Vaginal Cannibal’ is more hard-hitting in its chugging middle part and simply blistering chorus that might not be out of place on a System of a Down record if Glen Benton were allowed to produce. And if you don’t bang your head while ‘She Sucked the Wrong Cock’ gets fired up, you’re on the wrong website.

Aside from the riffs and the dual vocals, the great thing about Funeral Rape is that they understand how important a sense of humour is in this genre. Of course, most of the songs open with a clip from some porno, whether that be American, Italian, or Spanish, but some of the soundbites are highly amusing, the first of some crazy lady laughing at the little dicks of everyone in the room and some crazy ones in Spanish that I sadly can't understand beyond mere surface features. ‘Sex Sex Sex’ wins the award of “most stupid lyrics” because the first verse is essentially just the title repeated several times to a laughable rhythm, though maybe that’s the point. Naturally, the length (or rather, I should say the quantity, since this is only 32 minutes long) of the experience becomes wearing, song after song making the effect less interesting, particularly since the riffing approach doesn’t vary enough to keep the same tricks fresh. There are a few nice later moments in ‘The Junkie Is Back’ and a surprise Entombed riff in ‘Spunky Tramp Fucks and Sucks’, but the experience would have been more effective if Funeral Rape cut the album back to around 16 or 17 cuts or - for those of us not versed in languages - to put in more English porno excerpts, which would be entertaining, though I suppose slightly pointless.

This isn’t the kind of album I can see myself listening to that often, since I’m rarely in the mood to laugh at porn and headbang in little one and a half minute bursts, but if anyone fancies a taste of what porngrind is like when mixed with pretty potent death metal, I would certainly suggest you give A Chainsaw in the Cunt a shot. Just, you know, don’t expect to be taken out for dinner first.