Bastards Never Die!

“Bastards Never Die!” And they shouldn’t if you ask me. Cause why should bastards die, let me ask you this right here, right now? Not that they should get a perennially immortal status, but still… because due to their never-dying status we have these four lads, these incredibly fuckin’ bastardos from the deep Swiss countryside who sprung up one day, just like that, and before you know it were already up with an official release, would you believe; no demos, no promos, no similar fussy rehearsals.

So our incredibly fuckin’ bastardos have chosen the German speed metal movement as a model to follow, and have achieved a really admirable tribute to the works of Warrant, Iron Angel, Helloween, Angel Dust, etc. "Little Breaker" breaks the ice in a most invigorating fashion being a prime speed metal cut, a rousing headbanger despite the punky dispassionate, semi-declamatory antics of the bastardo behind the mike. "Nuclear War" is more on the heavy pounding side, but the sharp thrashy riffs and the stylish lead pirouettes ala Kai Hansen would keep anyone happy and firmly in the bastardos’ camp the latter enlarged by the title-track, the ultimate bastardos’ hymn, a total early Angel Dust-worship with the spinning guitars, the thrashy implements, and the proficient lead histrionics again. "The Land" could be considered a respite from the ensuing roller-coaster being a softer heavy/power metal anthem, but "Ride" is the ultimate speed/thrashing earth-shaker, a wild thrilling ride partially continued on "Fed by Your Blood" which calms the ball down with a wider array of tempos and a few power metal-ish pacifiers.

A job very well done, one that only incredibly fuckin’ bastardos can produce, their efforts slightly hampered by the muddy sound quality, but this can’t possibly stand on the way of this valiant batch who inexplicably went underground afterwards and started throwing “chicken metal” at the audience with their demos the first one containing some really cool, more complexly executed power/speed/thrash that elevated their stature in terms of musical audacity. Then they asked everyone “How do You Feel Today?” with the final instalment, but I have no idea how that actually felt as I haven’t been able to get a hold of it.

Their passion for asking questions culminated in the name of their next stunt, What’s Up, and they even went further up the official release stage with a full-length (self-titled) in 1993, a cool opus with bigger concentration on the power/thrash hybrid, not much speed present, with an unobtrusive modern-ish flavour. Never put a foot wrong, these inglorious, incredibly fuckin’ bastardos… converted quite a few fans for their cause within a short span of time, these…

well, there’s nothing more left to do now, but raise our glasses and yell “Cheeros, Bastardos!”