Illuminations of Vile Engorgement

Sometimes you just gotta take a break from reviewing all the good music that you find. So thank you for making my day Enmity, you've given me a chance to dish out another serving of 0% that hasn't been used in a while. But seriously, this might even be worse than Waking the Cadaver. It's absolutely awful, and I'd rather listen to the One Direction fans crying than this.

First things first, I think there's a slight issue with the ordering of the songs. You see, the introduction tends to be at the start, yet on Illuminations of Vile Engorgement it doesn't come in until the fifth track, halfway across the album. By that point you kind of know what you're in for, assuming that you can listen to it for that long. But on the plus side, at least that is one of the two tracks that doesn't sound exactly like the ones immediately before and after it. Yes, because I actually have no idea where one 'song' stops and the next starts. It's just a horribly repeated mess.

So... brutal death metal. Need I say any more? It's very much a love-it-or-hate-it thing, and I fall firmly on the side of hating it. To me it just sounds like one big dollop of shite. Here, the guitars are so down-tuned that I think whales would have trouble noticing it, and they're not particularly pleasant either. It's just chug after chug after chug after chug separated only by long periods of nothing and the occasional breakdown. Deathcore, anyone? But that isn't even the worst part, because the drumming is an irritatingly fast snare hit for the most part that sounds like it has come straight from the world of grindcore. Aside from that, the only part of the drum in use is the double bass, which is constantly running at a ridiculous pace. Basically, the drums serve no real purpose and I think the only reason that they're there is because the guitar has so many unplugged gaps to fill.

But of course we need to be more hardcore than what has been described above, so we add the lowest vocals in the history of mankind into the mix. No, not really, they're just weird burps that sound like very low pig squeals. They are annoying as fuck. Nothing is intelligible (because it's brutal, that's how it's meant to be, duh), and in all honesty the band just gives the impression of stupidity. I don't want to listen to a deranged pig, that's not what I define as music. That's not what anyone defines as music. Plus, they don't even sound that brutal. Johan Hegg sounds more impressive doing regular growls.

Do you know what saddens me about this? The band are trying so hard to be brutal, and yet they don't even achieve that. There are a million bands that sound more brutal simply because what they play has a thundering depth to it that drives their music home, whereas this is just one-dimensional and fairly weak. Do you know what that makes this? That's right, a pointless existence that will only appeal to a very small proportion of people, and the only purpose this album serves is for assholes like me to poke fun at. You don't even have to listen to the whole album to understand what you're getting here, a minute or two will sum everything else up. Not that I'd recommend you listen to this at all.