Illuminations of Vile Engorgement

Whatever you think the worst album is, if you have not chosen Enmity’s 2005 audio failure, then you are wrong. While Illuminations Of Vile Engorgment may not be the absolute worst, it is so horrifically awful that it deserves nothing more than a zero.

Okay, so I read the other reviews on the album…a couple of 0%’s and a 100%, with a 75 thrown in for good measure. I knew it was going to be fairly bad, but my own morbid curiosity got the better of me. It’s one of those situations where you think to yourself, “is it really that bad?”, and download it just to make sure. Well, I can honestly tell you, that it is really that bad. Everything about this album completely sucks to the point of rather listening to my oncoming tinnitus than what we have here.

The guitars have nothing. They’re heavy in the fact that they’re tuned low, but they have zero power, creativity or structure. Every riff is a sludgy concoction of random notes. And the breakdowns? All they do is chug, but there’s no excitement. Deathcore breakdowns have more worth than these ones because you can at least headbang like a scene kid to them…here, you can’t really do anything because they simply have nothing to offer. I can’t remember one riff from the album at all.

The drumming is terrible. I can tell the guy is talented, but that’s like me saying I can juggle spiked bowling pins on fire, but then demonstrating my talent by juggling one tennis ball. It’s not impressive, despite my knowledge of complex juggling. I have to say that he blasts way too much. Someone should probably take him aside and inform him that blasting for an entire album does not always equal brutality. Origin do it, but they do it well, and with guitar riffs to back it up. The snare sound is too loud, as well, so when the blasting starts up, the snare is the only thing you can focus on. The mixing, not to mention the sound of the snare itself, sucks.

The vocalist…well, let’s say he can’t juggle, and he lets the whole world know about it. And he lets us know all the time. There are barely any sections where he shuts the fuck up with his burping. Lyrics are absolutely useless. Honestly, there is no point, as you’ll never understand what is being said. A new vocalist is an absolute must.

The songwriting is non-existent. I feel like these songs were created in the space of 10 minutes. Why? Because every song sounds the fucking same. Now, that term can be thrown around a lot, but I really mean it…with the exception of “Intro” and “Severe Lacerations”, which are filler and outro tracks respectively, they all sound exactly alike. That is perhaps the worst aspect on this abomination: The fact that these two fuckheads could not write two different songs so the listener can get some variation. All these songs contain are “blast, blast, chug, chug, random sucky riff, blast, blast.” I can’t get over how monotonous everything is. Even down to the fucking tempo of each song…it doesn’t change! They stuck to one tempo, possibly the fastest the drummer could go without making a mistake, and planted themselves there. It’s all too repetitive for me, and even for those who like this sort of thing.

This is the end of the Universe, folks, where originality, songwriting, distinction between songs, and atmosphere in death metal music go to die horribly. I like a bit of brutal death, but this is the worst band I’ve ever heard in this genre. Nobody needs to hear this, unless you’re a masochist, or you can actually juggle bowling pins and would like to prove me wrong. I hate this fucking band so much.