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Embalmed to Endure - 0%

Spatupon, April 7th, 2021
Written based on this version: 2017, CD, Exhume Death Records (Limited edition)

Embalmatory is supposedly a "band" or musical project of Margul Demonic who is part in a plethora of other projects, most of which I'll probably stay away from. This Croatian guy is probably trying to pull a trick on us all by putting out this miserable hunk of shit because nobody in their right mind could possibly consider this as music. Don't get me wrong, I love noise and similar sub-genres but this stuff is simply the musical equivalent of rotten manure. This shit lasts for basically two minutes and contains five different fucking tracks. The music on here, using the world music extremely lightly, should be considered as "brutal death metal" but this sort of stuff can barely even qualify as notes put together to form a musical piece.

The music on here is just a basic snare drum beat that goes on at a very maniacal pace for two minutes while the guitar just swings from one note to another on the same string. Now, that would not be too terrible on its own, but the guy fucks up even strumming notes next to each other. Basically, if you had to record a guy trying to play guitar for the first time in his life, the end-product would probably sound extremely similar to this. There is no thought into the music playing, just mindless sloppy strumming that goes on without any rhyme or reason for two minutes before this entire excrement flushes itself out of existence, metaphorically speaking. Margul Demonic's vocal skills and performance are as terrible as his other musical engagements. He sounds like he is either choking or trying to imitate a possessed body very terribly.

The production, or lack thereof makes things even more messy. The awful programmed drum beat fades in and out of existence and the growls just fade in and out of existence as if they are trying to catch you off guard in order to harass your ears with their putridity. Honestly, I can't even wrap my head around the fact that this piece of trash was even put out by a legitimate record-label. Unless the record label is owned by the guy himself, the owner must be consuming some heavy psychedelics that make him think everything he listens to is simply excellent. I see no other rational explanation for this piece of shit to even exist.

In conclusion, I will reiterate my warning to stay away from this release because it will rape your ears for no good reason and waste two precious minutes from your life you will never be able to get back. Stay away!