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A failure at failing - 45%

The_Ghoul, February 19th, 2008

I know what Edguy's Rocket Ride was trying to do. I really do. And personally, my attitude is thus: if you can do it right, you can pull of near anything. Even if it's a style of music I absolutely hate, if you do it right, you'll still produce something of musical value. My problem with Rocket Ride isn't what many reviewers have said, which is they hate this playful, super cheezy, hard rock sound, and prefer the majestic epic metal of Mandrake or Vain Glory Opera. Well, I don't mind this humourous and nonchalant style. Not everything has to be serious all the time. It's the same thing I've said about Avantasia's Scarecrow, and it is: The style doesn't suck, TOBIAS DOES.

The new hard-rock/europop rock sound Tobias has been infatuated with isn't the cause of these ills, it's the fact that he cannot, for the life of him, pull it off. Yeah, it's really that bad. I listen to songs like Superheroes, Trinidad, and Matrix, and it makes me wanna bash my keyboard in. Sure, one might say, this is just the case of the boring and the mundane, and to Rocket Ride's credit, there are some good riffs here and there, the production is indeed polished, and the singing is good, as per Edguy's usual affairs, and surely that must be worth something, right? Wrong.

This, as well as the fellow abortion from Avantasia released earlier this year, is a perfect example of what happens when a tried and true metalhead and his bands get infected with the commercial virus. Everything that was original about Edguy, everything that made them stand out, everything that we love them for, everything that gave them BALLS, that gave them POWER, that gave them GENIUS, is gone. It's replaced by this homogenous mush that is there to fill up airwaves, prepackaged and processed to be listened to by millions of vacant teenagers, with no real artistic statement and no real conviction or ideas. It is to Edguy's earlier works as a McDonald's chicken McNugget is to a real chicken breast. It's technically made from the same stock that made Mandrake and Theater of Salvation, but it's been processed into a homogenous goop, with none of the variance, flavor, or substance that the original had, just like a McNugget is technically made from chicken, yet lacks the flavor, nutrition, and variance that makes a real chicken breast infinitely more appetizing.

Likewise, this album is infinitely less appealing than Edguy's earlier works, as well as The Metal Operas. It seems Tobias is dead set to be a mainstream radio fixture, and while it is indeed sad that we will never hear the glorious, majestic sound of old, the sadder part of this whole story is that Sammet isn't even good at writing songs in this new style. They fucking suck, which makes this new direction even more of a joke than it already was. Like I said in the title, it's a failure at failing. It's a shit attempt at a shit genre. C'mon, Tobias, I know you're just being lazy. Where's the creativity and inspiration of the music of old? It's sure not to be found on Rocket Ride, or any of Tobias' new material, Edguy OR Avantasia.