Interdimensional Summit

After eight goddamn years of having to be more or (mostly) less satisfied with Abrahadabra, Dimmu Borgir finally released something new for me to hear. And oh, boy, is it a mouthful... of absolute shit!

Listen, I will openly admit that I am a complete sucker for almost anything symphonic - from something as simple as Rammstein's "Mein Herz Brent" melody to extremely satisfying orchestrations of Fleshgod Apocalypse's "The Fool" (to only name a couple) and literally anything in between - but despite finding "Abrahadabra" generally more satisfying than their previous full-length release, Dimmu Borgir seem to have completely missed the mark of what symphonic elements of black metal should entail.

This EP (no idea why they called it an EP since there's literally just one new fucking song and a random live rendition of a much better song from their catalogue) generally sounds like the band aimed it to sound more or less exactly the same as their last album, then stumbled pissed drunk into the studio one night and up'd the volume of the choir and orchestra by 50% for shits and giggles. The introductory melody of this "Intersphaghetti Sauce" thing that's supposed to establish a level of maturity in writing parts for an orchestra that blend with a metal band and cement the band's ability to blend those traditional orchestrations with something dark and evil sounds more like something a 13-year old would write for his first metal band (that goes absolutely nowhere, of course) thinking it was the best thing since celebrity sideboobs.

Dimmu Borgir haven't been all that bad with orchestral arrangements in the past ("Gateways", "Progenies of the Great Apocalypse"), but this is just pathetic beyond any reasoning and common sense. While "Abrahadabra" at least had a good balance between the band and accompanying elements, "Interlostmysocks Somewhere" diminishes literally any effort to let the band breathe and be creative by drowning them out of the mix during key components and passages of the shitty, shitty song - not to mention that the song itself is way too fucking slow, even by Dimmu Borgir standards. There is absolutely nothing interesting to hear here - the lyrics suck, the choir overpowers Shagrath's vocals, the guitars either follow the path laid out by that dreadfully boring main melody, or just drudge along like they're doing a soundcheck and have decided to fuck around instead of actually playing something.

When the orchestra is not front and center (skip to 2:21) we get some awkwardly fucking keyboard plugin effect that sounds like something Mechina farts out in their sleep (have you heard of Mechina? Go listen to that, cause they're certainly more dark, heavy and exhilarating than this garbage, despite being generally - djent) - and this is generally the feel you get from listening to this EP - the more you get to hear some of the elements of the song, a couple of hooks (only one being actually good) and twists, you inevitably come to realize that literally any band could do a much, much better job.

To sum it up, Dimmu Borgir's latest effort is - quite literally - the act of beating a dead horse in hopes of getting one last kick out of it before it becomes sausage. It's uninteresting, uninspiring, terribly written, badly mixed, and ultimately boring as fuck! 90% of the song's elements are something any reasonable metal band (black or not) would be absolutely embarrassed to admit they ever actually wrote down, let alone recorded and released,

Goddammit, I was so excited and pumped for a new Dimmu Borgir album this year - now I feel like going to a church to pray just so I never have to end up in a situation where I have to listen through the whole thing.

Disgusting!