Gateways

For the sake of civility I won't dredge up the recent past regarding DIMMU BORGIR and their sad, sordid descent into madness. Drama for the sake of drama shouldn't exist in the metal world and I find it bothersome that it does show up time and again, overshadowing that which is SUPPOSED to be the most important factor (the music). That would be something to really fall back on if DIMMU had any kind of serious compositional chops, and, let's face it, they really don't. With every successive album it was glaringly obvious that without the keyboards DIMMU's repetitive, watered-down riffs would be made all the more annoying, and yet they still became the biggest musical thing to come from Norway, mirroring a certain, equally repetitive thrash band starting with an M who rose to as stratospheric of heights some thirty-odd years ago.

Yes, my dear readers, this DOES bear some semblance of rationality regarding this "song"...

What we have here with "Gateways" isn't really generic DIMMU BORGIR fare...during their heyday they at least had a minute sense of melody and the occasional bout of blast-beating brutality that still gave the listeners a few moments of enjoyment. But that was then...and this is now. Anyone who's anyone should know by now that this band has a bad habit of kicking out anyone who seems to possess more talent alone than the whole group in general (cases in points: Astennu, who helped sculpt "Spiritual Black Dimensions", their finest hour in my book, and of course a certain two musicians who were the only saving graces post-"Puritanical Euphoric Misanthropia"), and this is augmented the most with "Gateways", a fine example of a washed-up act who's best days are far behind them. The rot and decay that started to show on "Death Cult Armageddon" became more inflamed around "In Sorte Diaboli", but all that neglect on their part has given way to a terminal festering that is only hours away from eating the band alive from the inside out. Simply put...this sucks...hard...embarrassingly. The problem with this is that it seems to have potential going for it by way of the eerie synth ambiences and choir voices, but once the “riffing” starts and Shagrath’s tired-sounded croaks take center stage it becomes the musical equivalent of the Hindenburg. Everything just completely falls apart as the song progresses, crashed under the weight of the band’s rock-star ambitions to the point where we long-suffering old timers just shake our heads in bitter disappointment. There is little redeemable value in this exercise in metallic privation, where even the monstrous percussion usage and above average keyboard lines are bogged by half-hearted riff work and the poorest example of “evil” vocals this side of old EPOCH OF UNLIGHT. And when it comes to those backing vocals…no…no no no no NO! Getting a loud, irritating, Anette Olzon wannabe to counteract Shaggy’s brusqueness just makes this whole ordeal that much more of a hassle. I guess, deep down, we always knew it would come to this…the self-proclaimed patron saints of black metal end up losing their way, as they don’t have the tenacity to keep their increasingly sinking ship afloat by their lonesome, and once they jettisoned the ones who actually made things worthy in the ears of the populace it was only a matter of time until self-serving mediocrity swallowed them whole. And we’re the ones who end up enduring the worst of it, in the end…

All in all this was a huge disappointment for myself and others of my seeming ilk. I gave these guys one more chance to redeem themselves and with this they spit in my face and laugh. If this is meant to be the definitive face of the new album then these fuckers are long past their expiration date. Time to call it a day, fellas, before you dig your personal grave even deeper…