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I can and I can not - 100%

Mayday, August 23rd, 2006

There are actually three words which suffice to describe this album adequately: What the fuck?

From the beginning a sonic maelstrom of noisy walls of sounds comes crashing onto your head and chances are you'll leave with a droning headache after your first listen of this. This is mind overkill. The album sucks you in, lets you stare into the face of God, run through green fields of life, dance with Lucifer's big band, drive your soul like a Cadillac, go crazy, get a grasp of infinity, go crazy again and leaves your mind blank - white, like the cover of the album, with Devin sitting naked in the front, smiling at you. "Now we are one. You have felt what I felt".

Devin himself stated that while doing this album, he actually had to stay in mental hospital, for the lyrical substance was just too much for him to handle. the lyrics of the song "War" say:

In the morning 'bout three or so
Can't stop thinking about what I know
In the morning 'bout three or so
Can't stop thinking of the universe

Try doing that without feeling like you're going crazy. "Where did we come from?", "Why are we here?", "What's the fucking point?" these are questions which hold just too many information to fit into our small human brains at once. "What is God?" The album offers no solution. It offers a way. A way to come to terms with it yourself.

I actually had quite a revelation myself while listening to this album. A dark room. Full volume. A beer in my hand, my head in the other one. My heart in my mouth, my mind in the music. I felt I could understand what Devin was trying to show me. Words have limited value as bearers of information - it gets lost in the process of fitting your thoughts into words and then again while de-modulating words into thoughts. This was something else. I felt an almost divine (Devine?) connection with the music and with the subject it was dealing with. There was a rather big plant in the room. I was able to see it clearly. Upon not focusing on anything, my eyes still pointed towards the plant - it started to disappear into blackness, the blackness expanding across the whole room, the whole universe. Once I tried to focus either on the plant, the blackness, the music, or the strange feeling I felt, the blackness disappeared and the plant came into view. Listening deeper and deeper into the album, I was slowly learning how to expand the period of staying unfocused little by little.

Infinity is a concept of the human soul finding its way through life, seeking its connection with the world, life and God. At least this is, how I perceive the record. It's not about the lyrics. It's about pure, raw energy and feelings transmitted through music. The lyrics aren't the bearer of thoughts. The music itself is the bearer of feelings. "Unity" is the last song within the concept. The soul comes to terms with whatever it's believing it has found out and slowly fades away. Listening to that song that night I came to believe to have found out something. About God. Life. Infinity. Myself.

I cannot tell you what I have found out exactly, for it is a indefinite feeling, not a concrete thought. It doesn't let me write down the meaning of it all on a piece of paper. I can not. It does let me feel at peace. I have come to terms with it. I think I know. I can. "I can and I can not" - these words are printed inside of the booklet, below the infinity symbol. And it is indeed quite the oxymoron of existence. I believe, that I can understand, come to terms, somehow. I can not explain, however. No one can. You have got to do it yourself. This is the lesson, the message. The final solution in the song "Dynamics" is the conclusion of it all. Dev says:

Unsure? Well, here's help with the wait
The heavens move and the earth will quake
And now God has failed as a metaphor
There's only awe forever more

Life is all dynamics
Life is all... dynamics
There's life in all dynamics
Life is all dynamic [x3]

Unsure? Well, here's help with the weight
There's only "God" for "heaven's" sake
There's only one key to unlock the door
You must get the metaphor

Devin and the little plant taught me one thing: You cannot grasp infinity. It can only grasp you.