Killing with Kindness

So yes, I fell for this scam. Back in 2019 I saw this at some distro, and the first thought that came into my mind was "Oh? Has Mitch recorded a new Defecation album? Cool!". So this infernal thing came home with me. Not even halfway the first track, I was livid. What was this half-baked bullshit crap? There's no chance in hell that this is Mitch Harris at play here, no friggin' way! After consulting Doctor Google about what kind of vile disease this was, there came the awful confirmation that I've been had. Bastard!!

So what is this? An expensive drinks coaster that came with two sheets of clumsy toilet paper, yes, but musically? The answer is somewhat hesitantly best described as old school-ish death metal with a thrash edge to it, but recorded by a drunk orchestra using broken early 00's cell phones, because the riffs all sound like incompetently programmed ringtones. The older folks among us probably remember that sound computers used to make when you still needed to dial in to get on the internet. Well, the moron who recorded this blob of afterbirth probably heard that sound and thought to himself: "Hey! What if I stuck a drum machine under this?", and voila! The world was graced with another monstrosity. I could conjure up better sounds out of my arse after a big plate of beans, I tell ya. I heard brain-damaged toddlers come up with better material using their Fisher Price keyboards. Most of the songs (and I'm using the term loosely here) consist out of two 'riffs' underpinned by a drum machine that only plays the same thrash beat rhythm, while sounding so amazingly boxy and clinical, it makes the drums on Mortician's albums sound as if they were recorded by the late Neil Peart. On top of this second hand goulash of everything crap about digital instrumentation, there comes the heavily distorted pitch vocals of Larry Limpdick (no one knows who conjured this lump of excrement out of his top hat, so I named him myself), and these vocals would actually not sound out of place on a harsh noise album. Unfortunately, the only thing harsh about "Killing with Kindness" is the fact that I payed money for this. Bundled into a stick thin production (also using this term loosely here), this short bus pile up of digital 'riffs', 'percussion' and 'vocals' goes on for almost 20 minutes that feel like 20 hours, and those are 20 minutes I spent cursing the senile circus clown who brought this thing into existence, as well as the label that provided the platform for this to get out of the cage in the mental institute where this thing should have stayed until the final day. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

In case you're wondering why I still gave this musical equivalent of a tumor growing out of one's eye socket a 10 percent score, that's because of the Defecation logo on the cover. That's still a cool logo, too bad it had to land on this clot of expired used anal lube.

If I had known back then that there was also a Russian bootleg version of this thing, I would've bought that instead of this, because a fake rip-off band getting ripped off with a fake cd, that's what I call a more than beautiful dose of poetic justice.

Mitch, if you would happen to read this: I'm behind ya, mate. I hope both Larry Limpdick and Metal Bastard get shot in the dick by a toothless hooker.