I Walk the Life in Depression

Coming into this album, I guess I expected too much from it. After all, amongst fans of DSBM Trist's own band seems to be kind of a big deal, and after reading the reviews already on the site, maybe I was expecting for this to still my very heart, stop it’s useless beating dead in it’s tracks. I am not familiar with his releases with it, though, but will definately check it out when the opportunity presents itself. This though isn’t exactly comparable to the usual depressive suicidal black metal offerings, mainly because this dabbles more in the black ambient side of the playing field. One might draw comparisons to Nortt’s later releases Ligfaerd and Galgenfrist.

At first glance/listen, this just sounds immensely boring, one-dimensional droning with tortured screams thrown in for good measure. Song doesn’t seem to go anywhere, the guitars play the same riffs over and over again, keyboard lines evoke some generic gloominess with its ominous, sighing humming background noise, which rises to the forefront for the last ten minutes or so, before finally fading away to black infinities beyond. Overall, first listens didn’t exactly blow my mind nor did they leave that certain itch, the desire to play it again.

But perhaps I was missing the point here? In case the very point of this release is to paint a picture of a life spent in depression, as the title certainly insinuates, the point and picture is exceptionally well made. We get it, you are depressed. Your life isn’t going anywhere, everything just seems drab, pointless. Each and every time you wake up in the morning, you ask yourself, “Why? Why I keep on doing this? Why do I keep living this life?” Which sums up this release, in my opinion. The droning approach to guitarwork and repeating synth lines evoke this feeling of uselessness, of failure and wasted time. In case RH- and Trist wished to achieve to paint an audial landscape of depression, consider this a job well done. A bit too well done, perhaps, as it gets a bit boring after ten minutes or so, for the mood of the song or the composition doesn’t change the least. If shortened to a third of it’s duration and released as an 7”, I certainly would have given a higher score.

Trist's vocals however are a high point of this record. His vocals, like anguished wailing of lost souls beyond the void or a of a man buried alive, realising one's situation, are apt enough for this style and are the best part of this release, even if seldom they are used. One might draw comparisons to Hypothermia's Kim, who is an excellent screamer himself.

To sum up, a piece capable of evoking a distinct feeling of misery, but which sadly isn’t developed enough, in my amateur opinion. Granted, the vision of a person struggling with depression and his sanity is well presented, but this doesn’t go anywhere with it. Mainly, this song could be comparable to seeing a movie, which is somehow cut short sometime before it’s end, leaving the final confrontation unseen. I was left waiting for some climax, a crescendo, a final blast of suicidal rage, imploding blast of self-destruction. But alas, such is the nature of life, I guess. The End does not come with a bang, no, but a whimper.